Magpie: Vatican top 10, dangers of brothels and delights of cat stew

PERHAPS NOT surprisingly, given what was going on in the Vatican this week, far too little attention has been given to another…

PERHAPS NOT surprisingly, given what was going on in the Vatican this week, far too little attention has been given to another important story emerging from the Holy See – the pope’s top 10 albums of all time. Well, the pope’s newspaper’s top 10 of all time.

Oasis have beaten Bob Dylan by making the top 10 list in L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican’s semi-official newspaper. The newspaper hailed the “terrible” Gallagher brothers of Oasis for the mix of punk rock with the the Beatles on their “masterpiece” (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?

But Dylan did not make the cut, despite his reputation as a “poetic visionary”.

L'Osservatore Romanodecided: "His great fault is, however, giving the green light to generations of songwriters 'fine words and three notes' all over the world – but especially in Italy – that harshly tested the ears and patience of listeners, thinking that their tortured meanderings might interest somebody."

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The chronological list from L'Osservatoreis as follows: The Beatles – Revolver; David Crosby – If I Could Only Remember My Name; Pink Floyd – Dark Side Of The Moon; Fleetwood Mac – Rumours; Donald Fagen – The Nightfly; Michael Jackson – Thriller, Paul Simon – Graceland, U2 – Achtung Baby; Oasis – (What's The Story) Morning Glory?; Carlos Santana – Supernatural.

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MEANWHILE, IN Switzerland, (Vatican, Swiss Guard . . . yes, it’s a poor link) brothel owners in the Lugano area say electric shock treatment to restart customers’ hearts is needed because so many elderly clients are using their services.

The most recent victim was a pensioner, thought to be having fun with the help of anti-impotence medication, reports the Daily Telegraph. His death followed a series of other incidents, some fatal, in which heart attacks have claimed brothel customers in the area.

Local health experts are said to have backed the plans to stock defibrillators in sex clubs and brothels.

Defibrillators work by delivering a controlled electric shock to the heart to restore a normal heartbeat after it has stopped. The owner of one sex club said: “Having customers die on us isn’t exactly good publicity.”

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ITALIAN STATE TV has suspended a cookery show host who shocked the nation by saying cat stew is a Tuscan delicacy he swears he has enjoyed many times.

RAI TV confirmed on Wednesday that it had suspended Beppe Bigazzi, the 77-year-old host of a popular morning programme that offers food tips and recipes in a country fiercely proud of its cuisine. When his 27-year-old female co-host looked stunned as Bigazzi said he had eaten cat stew “many times”, the white-haired, grandfather figure defended his tastes.

“Hey, people maybe don’t eat rabbit, chicken, pigeon?” Bigazzi said. He could have added horse meat, which many butchers and supermarket meat departments stock.

“Who’s not fat, kills the cat”, is how Bigazzi began his lighthearted prattle about cat stew.

“Cat, soaked for three days in the running water of a stream,” in Tuscany “comes out with its meat white, and I assure you – I have eaten it many times – that it is a delicacy,” Bigazzi continued.

His critics included health ministry undersecretary Francesca Martini.

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AND FINALLY, in another triumph for common sense, health and safety advisers in England have been slammed for banning contestants in a pancake race from running in case they fell over.

Spectators booed as the rule was announced at the start of the race in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

City council tourism manager Charles Baker told contestants: “We have a new set of rules today. Due to the wet weather and health and safety regulations, in this year’s race, there will be no running allowed. Only walking is permitted. Any team that runs will be disqualified.”