Madam, – Frank McNally’s valiant and forensic dedication towards deciphering some turgid text (Irishman’s Diary, July 8th), warrants a valour award. Parsing with a surgical analysis, he analyses the queried quandary with investigative vigour unsurpassed.
For further illumination he might consider an infestation of the forward/slash, which peppered the sample text supplied for assessment. These insidious parasites insinuate themselves freely in textual organs throughout the land, leading to a generalised loss of literary libido. Their double-barrelled manifestation is lethal, leaving the reader foundering, unable even to enjoy routine text, stranded on the rock of the binary participle.
Frank McNally applauds the politically correct version of the forward/slash, referring to the Derry/Londonderry usage. However, colloquially in that very city, this has been reduced in common parlance to the neat “Stroke-City” version, via some creative reductio ad absurdum process. Such oblique minimalism could easily scupper the uninitiated, prompting an urgent forward slash brought on by textual anxiety.
To all colon addicts, parentheses practitioners and textual junkies: keep the faith. Dr Frank / McNally has our safe text practices at heart. Thanks/Frank. – Yours, etc,