Seat-tickets up for grabs as electioneering begins

Dáil Sketch / Frank McNally: With the possible exception of the one fired at Michael McDowell's house, the Dáil was hearing …

Dáil Sketch / Frank McNally: With the possible exception of the one fired at Michael McDowell's house, the Dáil was hearing the first shots of the by-election campaigns.

Only Enda Kenny failed to mention either Meath or Kildare during Leaders' Questions, when he instead urged the Government to do something about touts at major sport and music events.

But in his outrage at people charging €500 for a pair of U2 tickets and €1,350 for two terrace spots at the Ireland-England rugby match, he may have been sub-consciously worrying about the campaigns.

The Meath and Kildare electorates currently possess two tickets to one of the most sought-after events in town - the 29th Dáil. These are seat-tickets, obviously, and although they won't get you anywhere near the front benches, interested parties can expect to pay dearly for them.

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Bertie Ahern devoured the Fine Gael leader's question like a prawn sandwich. Yes, the scarcity of tickets for the Ireland-England match was a "real problem", he said, coolly.

"That's why I wanted to build a national stadium, so people could fit in." Not content with his five-point quip, he also kicked the conversion - "at least I funded Croke Park" - before agreeing with Enda that something should really be done about those touts.

As the Taoiseach congratulated himself for increasing Croke Park's capacity, Pat Rabbitte berated him for not reducing the capacity of school classrooms to the pupil-teacher ratio promised in the Programme for Government. The Labour leader cited statistics from "Kildare and Meath, for no particular reason". To which Mr Ahern replied that the Government was concentrating on "special needs and education for the disadvantaged", rather than just the national ratio.

But constituencies holding by-elections are often defined as areas with special needs.

So, when raising the issue of waste incinerators, Caoimhghín O'Caoláin mentioned that public hearings on one planned for Co Meath would begin the week of polling day. And when the Taoiseach talked generally about high standards of environmental protection, the Sinn Féin TD talked brass tacks: "Go and sell that to the people of County Meath". Which seemed to bring us back to Mr Kenny's ticket problem.

Republicans have been known to take a hard line with touts (albeit not the ticket-selling kind). But Mr O'Caoláin is on the political wing of the movement, a point he underlined during skirmishes with the Minister for Defence who, true to his title, was covering the Taoiseach's rear from opposition attacks.

"Commandant O'Dea!" scoffed the SF man. Reminded that he had previously christened him "Corporal", he corrected the record: "Sorry - Corporal. I'm not familiar with such terms."