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SKATING: Are you tough enough to go from being 'fresh meat' to becoming a full-blooded Roller Girl? AOIFE McELWAINgets suited, booted and psyched for a spin on the track with the Dublin Roller Girls

‘THE FIRST RULE of Derby is Don’t Be A Douchebag,” shouts Zola Blood. I’m lying on my back trying to catch my breath in between a series of excruciating drills in Inchicore’s Community Sports Centre in Dublin. I have roller skates on my feet, a helmet on my head and pads on every major joint of my body. I’m wheezing through my mouth guard. Everything hurts, from my ankles to my hair follicles. And it feels great. Zola, known as Jemma Keegan in real life, is about to teach offensive skating to a group of women the more experienced girls call “Fresh Meat”. Welcome to Roller Derby, Dublin Division.

Roller Derby is a full-contact sport where participants skate around a track using skill, strength and teamwork to defeat their opponents. It has had various incarnations through the past century, but got a new lease of life in the early 2000s in Austin, Texas. The London Roller Girls ( londonrollergirls.com) brought it to Europe in 2006 and the Dublin Roller Girls first tied the laces of their skates in 2009.

For women who have fallen off the exercise bandwagon, it seems to have an appeal that more traditional sports lack. Electrician Aideen Murphy, or BA Block’us on the track, says: “A lot of the girls on our team would never have got involved in regular sports at school or college, due to size or fitness. At the Dublin Roller Girls, we train hard to help and encourage our players to improve their endurance. The great thing about Roller Derby is no matter what your shape or size, each can hold an advantage in the game.”

Another aspect to the game are the personas the Roller Girls take on while on the track, lending a touch of escapism to the sport. Doireann Lawlor chose the name Jewel Hurt, as she “wanted something pretty but tough.”

Pretty but tough is a good way to sum up most of the league’s skaters. I still can’t stop myself from apologising to my fellow Fresh Meaters when I land a shoulder-check on them, while our Derby Girl coaches yell at all of us: “Stop apologising! Hit her harder!” It remains to be seen whether I have the instincts to really pummel into another woman on skates, but perhaps a monicker like Aoife McPain might help me along the road to Derby fierceness.

Apart from being in awe of the team’s ability on skates, the DIY spirit that prevails within the league is inspiring. Moa Hogarth, a cheesemonger known to her teammates as Dirty Knees Lou-eez, says: “It is without a doubt the exercise that keeps me smiling, but also the amazing people that I have met here and abroad. Roller Derby is a great network and a big community.” This sense of community makes being Fresh Meat a less daunting experience for those of us who have Bambi legs. Especially when it comes to assessments which Fresh Meats take after eight weeks of training to ensure they’re ready to move up to a twice-weekly training regime, where they will have a chance to join the team.

Sara Devine, who joined in September 2011, says: “Fresh Meat is a wonderful experience. It’s so wonderful, I’m repeating. I failed my assessment, but DRG were happy for me to keep repeating until I’m fit, safe and confident enough to move up. It’s all about learning at your own pace, so there’s no pressure. The girls are really friendly and supportive. They’re the reason I stuck with it.”

Fresh Meats train for two hours every Sunday and the coaches are members of the team. It costs €5 if you have your own gear – skates, knee-pads, elbow-pads, wrist-guards, helmet and mouthguard – or €10 if you rent from the league. We learn basic Derby moves such as knee falls, jumps, toe stops, body checks, lateral skating and pack skating, and our two-hour session leaves us sweaty, exhausted, and dreaming of about hot baths.

Suzanne Fitzpatrick, a teacher known as Blackeye Bock-Scar to her enemies on skates, explains more about the appeal of Derby for newbies. “It’s great fun and you meet a brilliant group of people. It’s a constant learning process so you get a great sense of achievement and can constantly push yourself that bit more at each training session. You get some amazing bruises too.”

ROLLER DERBY: THE RULES

A game, or “bout” is divided into two 30-minute halves. Each half is then divided into smaller two-minute parts called Jams.

Five players from each team take the track for each Jam – four blockers and one Jammer (the points scorer). The Jammer wears a star on her helment and is usually fast and agile. After her initial lap, she scores a point for her team each time she passes the hips of an opposing player.

The four blockers play offence and defence simultaneously during this two-minute Jam. Both assist their Jammer in scoring points and preventing the opposing Jammer from getting past them and scoring points.

Using elbows and forearms, tripping and back-blocking are illegal moves and you could serve one minute in the penalty box (also known as the Sin Bin) for deploying them.

IS IT FOR YOU?

To find out if Roller Derby is the sport for you, get in touch with your local league to find out when their next Fresh Meat process is taking place. Alternatively, head to their next bout and see if you're ready to get your skates on. You can catch the Dublin Roller Girls' bout against the Cork City Firebirds on the May 27th in Dublin. See dublinrollergirls.comfor details

IRISH LEAGUES

Belfast Banshees ( belfastrollerderby.net)

Rebel County Rollers Cork ( twitter.com/rollerderbycork)

Cork City Firebirds ( facebook.com/corkcityfirebirds) Waterford City Viqueens ( facebook.com/waterfordcityviqueens) Limerick Roller Girls ( limerickrollergirls.com)

Dublin Roller Girls ( dublinrollergirls.com)

Greystones Cyclones ( facebook.com/Thegreystonescyclones)