Miriam Lord's Week

Minster's late engagement; Surprise for golden oldie; Dáil broods over baby ducks; Lisbon blame game; Mary's maths test

Ruby ring surprise for Minister's wife

AFTER A decade of married bliss, Minister Eamon Ryan took the plunge last week and bought his wife an engagement ring. "It was a lovely surprise," Victoria White tells us, at pains to point out that Eamon didn't give her an engagement ring the first time around because she didn't like the idea and refused to have one.

Time, though, has had a mellowing effect. "Now, I'm incredibly moved by getting this ring. I suppose it's a symbol of the fact we have survived 10 years, four children and a house fire."

The romantic gesture by the Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources was prompted by a visit to his cousin's jewellery shop in Dublin's Wexford Street.

Simon Phelan was holding an exhibition of 100 cocktail rings in the Aladdin's cave he calls "Djinn", when Eamon steered Victoria in the direction of a display of star rubies and selected a suitably tasteful yet funky ring.

Did he go down on one knee? "No, the shop is very small. There wasn't room." Like his cousin, Simon is very committed to the Green cause and is involved in the climate change campaign. He travels regularly to India where he works with fourth generation craftsmen on the execution of his designs. "We're all very excited about the ring," says Victoria, who describes it as a small semi-precious star ruby in a gold band. "It's particularly nice to have it as my wedding dress was lost in the fire. It was a beautiful green dress." Eh, green? "We were a bit alternative at the time. I prefer to call it eau de nil."

Golden anniversary party for PJ

IT'S HARD enough to keep a secret in Leinster House, so the idea of holding a surprise party in the place smacks of outrageous optimism.

However, on Tuesday night, the impossible was achieved when a golden wedding anniversary celebration was organised for one of the Dáil's most convivial members - and not a word of it escaped before the event.

Goleen deputy PJ Sheehan and his wife were half-way down the Members' Restaurant when they saw their daughters Deirdre and Meabh waiting to greet them, among the large gathering of past and present Fine Gael parliamentarians. It was only then that the penny dropped.

PJ and Frances were married in Schull on June 17th, 1958, and after their reception in Glengarriff, the honeymooning couple embarked on an eight-day whistle-stop tour of Ireland in a hired Ford Anglia. The menu cover on Tuesday night featured a wedding photograph of PJ and Frances. Guests enjoyed a choice of caesar salad or vegetable soup, followed by breast of chicken with a wild mushroom sauce or baked hake with a herb crust. Dessert was strawberries and ice cream, washed down with a glass of champagne.

Former Cork East TD Dick Barry, now in his 89th year, proposed the toast, and he recalled working with PJ on the Cork County Committee of Agriculture back in 1962. Former commissioner Dick Burke imparted a few gems of wisdom in his tribute to the couple.

The couple were presented by party leader Enda Kenny with an aerial photograph of Goleen commissioned from Bandon photographer John Herriott.

PJ's speech of reply was only getting going when the division bells rang at 10pm and half the audience had to leave to vote. The Lord works in mysterious ways . . .

The main conspirator in organising the event was Sheehan's parliamentary assistant John Stanton, who worked with PJ's family in springing the surprise. Following the vote, celebrations adjourned to the bar and onwards.

Among the former parliamentarians attending were Mary Jackman, Myra Barry, Fergus O'Brien, Paul McGrath, John Farrelly, John Cushnahan, John Brown, Tom Enright and Austin Currie.

Note to Eamon and Victoria: Only another 40 years to go.

Lame ducks save Dáil ducklings

IT WAS an afternoon of high drama on Thursday, when the DSPCA mounted a daring raid on Leinster House and rescued the Oireachtas ducks.

Armed with nets and a cardboard box, the men breached the perimeter of a courtyard pond within the parliament complex, removing 10 duckling and their mammy from a situation of deadly peril.

To cheers from emotional staff and customers in the coffee dock by the pond, the adorable little mites were finally put in their box. (But enough of distraught politicians and the referendum result.) The arrival of mother duck and her brood earlier in the week caused much anguish among staff, as they contemplated the carnage to come. For the last few years, it's been the same old story - a rising body count as swooping seagulls pick off the defenceless chicks.

For some unknown reason, repeated pleas to the house authorities fell on deaf ears.

Requests from politicians for something to be done went unheeded.

The upstanding officers who oversee the smooth running of Leinster House are former military men. If the Army can operate in Chad, how difficult can it be to protect a few baby ducks in Kildare Street? All very strange.

When this year's latest arrivals landed there was an immediate cross-party approach to Labour's Pat Rabbitte from "determined ladies of the Dáil".

The following day, Pat raised the plight of the ducks and distress of the ladies at a meeting of the Oireachtas Commission, which is, essentially, the Leinster House board of directors. The relevant authorities were instructed to take action.

By Thursday, the DSPCA were on site, and that evening, the ducks were relaxing in a pond in Tymon Park, in Pat's constituency.

A spokesman for the Minister for the Environment said yesterday that wildlife experts are now looking at ways to deter predators from entering the enclosed courtyard.

In future, to the relief of heart-torn animal lovers in Leinster House, it is hoped the only dead ducks in the vicinity will be of the political variety.

Lisbon fallout high jinks in Seanad

DEPUTIES FROM the three main parties were a model of decorum when they returned after the Lisbon debacle. No point in getting stuck into the blame game yet, if that game looks set to go to extra time.

Naturally, they had no such qualms in the Seanad, where one-upmanship began immediately. Senator Donie Cassidy congratulated the Taoiseach for returning a resounding Yes vote in his native county. The same can't be said for Enda Kenny, sniffed Donie.

What about the result in Longford/Westmeath?

Donie waffled around the No. "In my area we had a substantial turnout and I am waiting to hear what the vote truthfully was, because, as Senators know, I am a Westmeath man, born, bred and reared, but our count was at the Royals in Meath . . . " Truthfully? Surely Donie trusts the count staff in Meath to return an honest result?

Sniping reached a new low between Senator Fidelma Healy Eames (FG) and her FF colleagues, Senators Ger Feeney and Ann Ormonde. To be fair, former primary teacher Fidelma was asking for it, following a saccharine explanation of why the Taoiseach got the campaign wrong, as told to her by a 12-year-old schoolboy.

Ger: At least he won it in his own county. Enda couldn't.

Fidelma: Like Senator Ormonde, I spent time explaining the treaty to people, but many more people from the Government side should have been doing so. Last weekend, I spent a day in a Coláiste Gaelach in Ros Muc.

Ger: Do you want to go there for good?

Fidelma: My son and other youngsters were doing an Irish drama. It was a drama about the Taoiseach in which he was saying: "Cá bhfuil Bertie?" and "Cá bhfuil Charlie McCreevy?"

Ger: Aaw, stop it!

Ann: Cá bhfuil Enda?

Ger: Tá Enda marbh.

Ann: Níl Enda i láthair.

Ger: Fuair sé bás.

We love the Seanad.

Coughlan's salary sums don't add up

BRASH LEO Varadkar, the undisputed pup of the 30th Dáil, is doing a fine job getting up the nose of his betters on the Government benches. The Fine Gael deputy's pull-no-punches approach has led to raised eyebrows from those who feel Dáil business should be a courtly, refined affair.

As Government deputies mutter privately about him "getting his comeuppance" one of these days, Leo continues throwing the insults across the floor with youthful abandon. Let him at it. He's annoying so many people in Leinster House, he must be doing something right.

On Thursday, Varadkar was tormenting Tánaiste and Minister for Enterprise Mary Coughlan over the rising cost of groceries. "I appreciate the Minister earns €5,000 per week, and probably her driver is doing her shopping, but rising prices are beginning to hurt," he said.

Mary was outraged. "For the benefit of the deputy, I do my own shopping. I hope the woman beside him gives him a slap for the comment he made." Deirdre Clune thought the better of it.

The Tánaiste then went on to demonstrate that her knowledge of how much she earns is as shaky as her knowledge of EU commissioners.

"If I receive €5,000 per week, I'd like to see the job I do, because I do not receive that sum," she huffily declared.

The Tánaiste is on €241,000 a year, which works out at €4,634 a week. In a just over couple of months, when the ministerial pay increases deferred by Bertie Ahern kick in, Mary will be on a handsome €270,000 a year, which is €5,192 a week. That's not including car, driver, expenses and the rest.

Just as well Brian Lenihan got finance.