Miriam Lord: Mattie’s on the dossier, but he’s no Yes man

Mick Wallace and Clare Daly are great ones for the dossiers. Catherine Murphy also has one on the go at the moment – it’s jam-packed with stuff about Siteserv. It got another outing last night when a Fianna Fáil motion calling for an independent inquiry into the sale of Siteserv was debated in the Dáil. Mattie McGrath got in on the act yesterday evening during a rather late Order of Business.

Proceedings were very slow to start due to the May bank holiday, which meant a welcome Monday off for most people and, naturally, Monday and Tuesday off for TDs. So this week’s Dáil business didn’t begin until after lunch yesterday. It was nearly teatime before they got around to Leaders’ Questions.

The Labour Party must have been holding its parliamentary party meeting, because none of its TDs came in. But then again, very few deputies from any of the parties ventured into the chamber. You can’t blame them. It’s as if the Government has taken a tactical decision to smother parliamentary discourse in order draw attention from ongoing controversies. Then, having bored everyone half to death, they fill the media void with their own pre-election propaganda.

If he wasn’t so lively when he gets out, one would be tempted to think Enda’s handlers have him highly medicated for his stints in the Dáil chamber. Ten minutes listening to him waffling monotonously across the floor would sedate a hippo.

Distracted noises

But back to Mattie, who has been muttering darkly and making distracted noises for some time over the manner in which the campaign for the marriage equality referendum is being conducted by those in favour of a Yes vote. He senses an establishment conspiracy against the No side.

“I want to ask the Taoiseach – I think he’ll accept that we are all political practitioners in here and we go about our election campaigns and posters and everything without fear or favour,” he said to Enda, who stared back.

“We were promised an electoral commission Bill. I have a whole dossier here about posters being taken down from Donegal to Tipperary by the No campaign in this campaign.” Micheál Martin looked sideways at him.

“And are the Garda going to take any action or are they tied up? Because the Garda have always looked after elections without fear or favour, and oversaw the elections. This is totally terrible behaviour.”

The Ceann Comhairle intervened to tell Mattie the matter was not suitable for the Order of Business, where matters pertaining to legislation are raised. Mattie ploughed on, as they all do. “And Taoiseach, will you ask the Minister for Justice to talk to the gardaí because . . .”

The Ceann Comhairle tried again. “It’s not on the Order of Business.”

“But,” persisted Mattie, “there are Facebook pictures of people who think they can act with impunity after the intervention of the Garda Representative Association. It is disgraceful.”

Mattie continued to wave his dossier. We could make out a picture of a lamppost on the top page. The Fianna Fáil leader still looked puzzled. “Well, it may be disgraceful, but it’s not on the Order of Business,” said the Ceann Comhairle.

“I’m asking about this legislation. We will hardly get it before the referendum” explained Mattie. “What legislation?” sighed the Ceann Comhairle. “It’s the electoral commission legislation. Will the Taoiseach ask the Minister for Justice to talk to the Garda?”

The few Government backbenchers began to heckle the independent deputy for Tipperary South. “It’s not very funny. You wouldn’t like if it happened to you,” he shouted at Fine Gael’s Joe Carey, who had suggested Mattie might have taken down a few posters himself. “No, it’s not very funny but this is the Order of Business,” said the Ceann Comhairle as Mattie held aloft his dossier of Facebook pages.

Squint

Across the aisle, Micheál was trying to take a squint at them. Whereupon Government Chief Whip, Paul Kehoe chortled: “You’re looking at the pictures upside down. They’re putting those posters up!”

Finally, Enda stepped in to smother the row. “I don’t have a date for the introduction of the electoral commission Bill. You don’t need an electoral commission to know that posters should not be taken down. It is an offence to do so,” he said, curtly. And that was that.

But the Fianna Fáil leader still looked troubled. He said something to McGrath, who handed over his dossier, which had over 10 pages in it. Micheál leafed through them. We took a squint too. Just as we, and Micheál, thought. Mattie had mistakenly said the No campaign were interfering with posters. But he had, in fact, meant to say Yes. But obviously, he just can’t.