Dáil sketch: ‘Amazeyballs’ as new procedures catch TDs off guard

It was the roll call of shame. A Dáil reform that caught a number of TDs on the hop and may actually be a reform that works.

Environment questions – and the first question from Fianna Fáil's Barry Cowen could not be taken because the TD was not present.

Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan was accommodating.

He had no problem with Mr Cowen’s colleague Éamon Ó Cuív dealing with the question on his half.

Ceann Comhairle Sean Barrett told him standing orders had changed and under the new rules a question could not be dealt with if the TD in whose name the question was written, was not in attendance.

Absent
Is question time abandoned, Mr Ó Cuiv asked. No, but there would be no oral reply to issues where the TD was absent.

And what an impact that ruling had. At least 21 questions were not dealt with because TDs were missing.

"Deputy not present" intoned the Ceann Comhairle and moved on to the next question. Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin led the list of luminaries not present.

Fine Gael's David Stanton also missed out. Richard Boyd Barrett was among the non present as was Denis Naughten.

In fact it was unprecedented that the 75-minute question time got through the entire list of queries in the environment segment.

And the last one only got dealt with because Mr Cowen, absent earlier, managed to get into the chamber.

Previously if a party TD put down a question and did not attend for the answer the party’s spokesperson could deal with it.

In some cases party officials were nominating questions in TDs names for the spokesperson to deal with.

But no more.

Because there were so few of the named TDs present, issues raised by opposition TDs who would normally have little access to a cabinet minister got dealt with.

The new standing orders have been in place since the Dáil returned after the October bank holiday weekend but Environment questions was the first time so many had been caught out.

Red faces all around for the political parties and a step forward for the Independents.

A reform that might actually work – what an achievement.

And speaking of change and new rules, there was also a new word added to the vernacular.

Sinn Féin’s Aengus Ó Snodaigh welcomed Minister for Social Protection Joan Burton’s Social Welfare and Pensions Bill.

He said that while it was late in the day for those affected by pensions being wound up, it represented an improvement.

But in reference to an apparently “cool” phrase, “amazeballs”, he said the Bill was not “amazeyballs”. He described the word as a new Dublin southside term.

“What’s that?” asked Burton in bemusement.

“There you go it’s a new term for you,” said Aengus.

“We’re all northsiders over here,” said Joan.

“It certainly doesn’t come from the westside where I live,” replied Aengus.

"Deputy Olivia Mitchell is from the southside. Maybe she heard it." said Joan

“What’s he accusing us of?” asked Olivia.

“Amazeyballs is the new term for “fantastic” or “brilliant”” said Aengus.

“Okay” said Olivia, equally bemused.

“It must be a Dart expression,” Joan concluded.