Credibility gap widens for Gerry Twadams

There was a major outbreak of Glass Jaw syndrome yesterday afternoon.

Micheál Martin presented his unguarded chin to the Taoiseach as if begging to be dropped by a swift uppercut.

Then Gerry Adams followed suit, sticking his chin out a mile. It must be said, the Sinn Féin leader is by far the easier target these days.

But first, to the Fianna Fáil leader – what possessed him to ask Enda to reopen the Moriarty Tribunal because he had “a very, very uneasy feeling” that it “was not told the full truth” by Michael Lowry, among others? Following the appearance of a number of new documents, would Enda “facilitate a re-examination of these issues by the tribunal?”

Micheál got a bit annoyed because people started sniggering at him. In fairness, you had to laugh. No, seriously. The man who was a senior cheerleader in Bertie Ahern’s cabinet and who chose to ignore his boss’s hilariously unbelievable evidence to the Mahon tribunal is now concerned about the veracity of some of the evidence given by a politician to the Moriarty tribunal.

He feels something must be done. He managed to keep a straight face when saying this.

Pat Rabbitte was fit to burst. “Well” he harrumphed, “you should know well about obfuscation before a tribunal.” Enda wondered if there wasn’t a touch of amnesia about the Fianna Fáil leader, and him worried about people not telling the truth to tribunals.

“It’s a can of worms you probably don’t wish to reopen,” sniffed Micheál.

The Taoiseach is right. In opening up this particular credibility chasm for himself, the Fianna Fáil leader has clearly lost his memory, if not his marbles. Baffling.

Which brings us neatly to Adams. First, we had the embarrassing revelation that a wealthy admirer funded the cost of an expensive medical procedure for him. (He crossed the Atlantic in business class to avail of it.) Then there’s the Pee Flynesque hardship of trying to maintain more than one home. Not to mention the toe-curling new persona that is suddenly unveiled – Cuddly Grizzly Twadams (64¾) embracing Twitter like a teenage girl as he tweets cloying and vaguely unsettling musings about his fluffy doggie and teddy bears.

No wonder his credibility is under severe pressure when he speaks at Leaders’ Questions these days. It’s becoming all too easy for the Government – Ministers and backbenchers — along with Fianna Fáil deputies, to take pot shots at him.

Twadams got slightly irritated by the sight of Pat Rabbitte smirking when he rose to speak yesterday about the put-upon front-line workers in the public service.

“The Labour Party, which is the party of the smirkers AND the party of Connolly and Larkin, is attacking workers in the centenary year of the Lock-out,” huffed Gerry.

“Tell that to your Teddy bear!” chortled Pat.

“Why are front-line workers being left to pick up the tab?” wailed Gerry.

“Why don’t you use their services when you need them?” retorted backbencher Michael Creed (FG).

“Yeah, instead of going to America,” his colleague Patrick O’Donovan chimed in.

The Sinn Féin leader ploughed on, saying the Government could have tackled the pay of people at the top end of the wage scale in the Croke Park negotiations but chose not to.

“Now, think of your own position” he asked the Taoiseach. “We take 10 per cent off those on high pay like yourself, you still end up earning more than the British prime minister or the French president.”

But reducing the pay of a nurse by a smaller percentage makes a huge difference to that worker. “There is nothing fair in that whatsoever,” declared Gerry.

“What about Bill Flynn?” shouted Fianna Fáil’s Timmy Dooley. Flynn is the man who picked up the bill for Twadams’s US hospital procedure.

Gerry then decided to channel the spirit of the late CJ Haughey.

In “the words of a former leader of the party to my left, there is nothing fair about telling workers to tighten their belts while those at the top can get on very easily with their lives.”

“While Bill Flynn is funding you,” snorted Timmy.

Enda prefaced his answer on the Croke Park proposals with a reference to lucky Gerry’s luxury healthcare trip to America. “I’m glad to see deputy Adams is in robust, good and strong health,” smiled Enda.

“Thank you, my teddy bear is great too, thanks!” smiled back Twadams (64 ¾), making us wince yet again.

“The point is that Deputy Adams chooses deliberately not to deal with our front-line service workers here in Ireland. He chooses to fly to greener pastures,” explained the Taoiseach, before reminding Twadams about how his party proposed “cutting take-home pay for public and private sector workers – front-line and back office – earning €35,000 or more”.

“Teddy didn’t tell us about that!” whooped Timmy Dooley. “I don’t have any time for the blather Deputy Adams goes on with in here about protecting all the low-paid workers or the front-line workers, which you yourself choose to.”

The Taoiseach paused, searching for the right word.

“Bypass” hissed Rabbitte, helpfully. “Bypass,” repeated Enda. And on it goes for Twadams, with his generous benefactors, teddy bears and growing credibility gap.