Captain Kenny and crew exit pylon quadrant

“U-turn now, Rabbitte and set engines to warp speed. I’ll take the bridge,” says captain

Thu, Jan 30, 2014, 01:00

The issue is whether they are overground or underground. He too asked about the North-South interconnector and health concerns

Kenny had a skeleton crew to back him up when under fire from the main Opposition parties and most of the independents.

Just one Minister – Frances Fitzgerald – and one junior Minister – Fergus O’Dowd, were with him. The rest were missing in action. They’re afraid of the pylons. Far worst than the Klingons when an election beckons.

Enda delegated the matter of “non-ionising radiation” and “electromagnetic fields” to his enforcer, Big Phil Hogan, who wasn’t there. That’s his field, apparently.

The schoolchildren in the gallery looked confused by the heavily technical exchanges.

It’s life, kiddies, but not as you know it.

As far as the Taoiseach is concerned, he’s happy to drift around the local election quadrant until the polls close.

Scotty Rabbitte has now raised the review panel shields in order to absorb the bombardment from backbenchers and the grassroots.

“I’m givin’ her all she’s got!” says Pat, embarking on a round of interviews.

“Make it so!” commands Enda.

Until the elections are over, Government resistance to the underground network lobby is futile.

Joan Collins of the Technicals zoomed in with a reference to his recent voyage to the planet Davos, an alien place populated by billionaires. “I wonder, Taoiseach, if you will join with me in marking the passing of the folk singer Pete Seeger, ” she began, as Enda looked up, nonplussed.

There was utter panic in the chamber at this point as people feared Finian McGrath, sitting next to Joan, was about to produce his guitar.

“Pete Seeger wrote and recorded some of the most famous protest songs used by the civil rights movement of the 1960s,” she said. He was “an organiser and social activist who spent his life fighting for justice and against austerity, inequality and greed”.

Planet Davos
Now he had returned from Planet Davos, might the Taoiseach reconsider his austerity programme?

Enda smiled, because he was free for a time from the Wombling zone of the underground overground waffling-free pylons.

He said he thought Seeger was great, and sometimes, during Leaders’ Questions, he fell to thinking of the words from one of his songs, If I had a Hammer. Instead, he has to rely on Big Phil.

“I recall The Boss at the Seeger Sessions, which were incredible” he sighed.

We presumed he meant Bruce Springsteen, or perhaps it was the Garda Commissioner. And with a live long and prosper reply all about his excellent command of the good ship Enterprise, Capt Kenny declared his goal is to “hold our momentum and keep our objectives in sight”.

Then, avoiding the grids and interconnectors, he beamed himself safely out
of the session.