I USED to wonder, when I sat at the tribunal surrounded by the past and present employees of the Blood Transfusion Service Board, how they would feel if I pulled out a syringe filled with hepatitis C-contaminated blood, just to give them a little taste of what we go through.
Of course I know that security would be called in, and I would be brought straight down to a Garda station and charged with attempted murder. Because the reality is, of course, that hepatitis C is a life-threatening illness. I am not generally an angry person but I find it very difficult to control this anger sometimes.
I'm very glad the tribunal happened. It showed to everyone the seriousness of the situation and all the wrong that was done, which was not an innocent wrong. The people responsible must be named. I want the DPP to look at this report. You have to remember that 1,600 lives have been shattered.
But at the tribunal I was looking at people who got golden handshakes while we were left with damaged livers. I am rhesus negative and got anti-D after the birth of my first baby, who was stillborn in 1977 at the Coombe. At the same time my sister-in-law, Mary, was having a baby and also got anti-D. She developed jaundice a few weeks later.
When the whole thing broke we were terribly worried. I did think Mary was in trouble after the jaundice and she always said over the years that she could feel her liver was sore. At least now there was a reason for the years I went to bed feeling exhausted and nauseous. I had a load of tests done and at one stage they told me it was irritable bowel syndrome.
When I got the first test back it said I was antibody positive. Mary and I then went for blood tests for the PCR test and I remember the two of us were sitting in the carpark trying to comprehend the consequences of having a life-threatening disease. The test hand to go to Edinburgh and we were mental with worry. The PCR test showed I was negative to the virus.
I remember Mary and I going up to the blood bank. They asked us if we had tattoos or if we hand ever used intravenous drugs and asked where we had our ears pierced. I was upset and crying, but Mary was angry and started asking questions back.
I know now from the tribunal that they knew what batch number of anti-D that we got. It was also easy to connect us since we were both in the Coombe at around the same time. It was such an insult.
I remember Dr Joan Power (of the BTSB) addressed us at a meeting in Wynn's Hotel and described us as "a cohort of well women". I'd like to meet her today and ask her, "What's a well woman?" She said I had a 90 per cent chance of being active to the virus. Since then I have been to and from the hospital and the PCR test has never shown up that the virus is active. I struggled for about three years about whether or not to have a biopsy. I eventually had one on February 20th.
I had read every article ever written on the virus, checked out the Internet and spoke to as many people as possible. I was still terrified but felt I had to know. As it turns out it was a harrowing and painful experience. The results showed minimal inflammation. I have gone from being one of the so-called lucky ones to having inflammation present. My specialist cannot give me a reason why. Perhaps there is low-level virus but I don't know. I know minimal inflammation might not seem a lot but to me it is huge. I don't know if it is starting to get active or is it just lying there doing damage all the time.
Luckily I have Mary and we are both in the same situation and we can scream and shout when we need to. I also have another friend who has hepatitis C and the network we have built up through Positive Action is fabulous. We have achieved a lot because we have stuck together. But there is still an awful loneliness attached to with the anger that surges through you when you think that it should never have happened.