What do Irish mothers think of mothering in the 1990s? We asked three of them.
. ANNE O'DONNELL, publicity and marketing manager, Mercier Press/Marino Books, has four children aged from three to 14. "I think it's very hard to get mothering in the 1990s right, to work well in your job and to keep everything going at home. I'm glad all that supermother crap has gone and we can admit this. There's part of me that would love to stay at home, and I did for a while, but I know I'd go mad. I do think if working mothers were honest, they'd say that children do want you at home, that their major focus is on the mother. I also think that a woman who's been in the home for a number of, years should be respected in the workforce.
. FIONNUALA KILFEATHER, national coordinator of the National Parents' Council (Primary), has four children, aged 15 to 26. "Our expectations of ourselves, and for our children, are very high. I'd say mothers should look after their own self esteem, take that bit of time to develop themselves, whether it's doing courses, or sitting down to read a book. We know now that self esteem really matters for you and your children, and if you don't have it, how can you pass it on? I'd also advise mothers to bring up their sons and daughters to fully share responsibilities, as a good training for sharing in the future. A lot of work is still seen as `women's work' although it's changing all the time."
. MARIE MURRAY, principal psychologist in St Joseph's Adolescent Unit in St Vincent's Psychiatric Hospital, Dublin, has two children aged 14 and 17. "I enjoy the wit, humour, enthusiasm of teens. Watching children develop, you're experience the novelty of life. I feel privileged to have the role of mum, and I like that sense of being important, of being loved and needed. You have to let kids, especially teenagers, know you love them and that will never change, no matter what. You have to give them time, let them know that if you had to toss between a work commitment and them, that they'd come first - and prove it, perhaps by leaving a meeting to collect an unwell child from school. You must listen fully to your child before making a decision affecting him/her.