Grieving father of boy killed by drunk driver reveals family turmoil

Letters written by the father of the four-year-old boy killed by a drunk driver reveal the harrowing grief for his dead son.

In a letter to Finbarr O'Rourke, written on the night when the Court of Appeal finished hearing evidence last week, Ronan Treacy wrote:

“I’m glad to hear you’ve turned your life around and that you miss your kids. I miss my child too – he’d be coming up on seven now, in first class, being looked after by his big brother Seán, whom he idolised, or his sister Caoimhe who started school this year, something which Ciarán never got to do. The big difference here is that your situation is temporary. My son isn’t coming back.”

Rejecting a letter that O’Rourke had written to the family last January, Mr Treacy said: “If you were truly sorry for what you done, you wouldn’t have firstly appealed your sentence. If you were truly sorry you’d man up and take your sentence on the chin – instead, you choose again to do the wrong thing by dragging this saga out for another year, as if we haven’t enough to deal with.”

Condemning O'Rourke for lying to gardaí about the amount of alcohol he had drunk, the bereaved father said he had "noted" during the Court of Appeal that Mr O'Rourke's barrister, Conor Devally, had argued that Mr O'Rourke had "got a bigger sentence because of the public outcry" and that he had been seen "as an example rather than an individual".

“Why should you be the one to set the bar so high? I say why not. You’re an educated guy, you knew the dangers of drink-driving, yet you chose to drive whilst being intoxicated. Should we wait another while before we start dishing out tougher sentences? Put another five or 10 families through this unnecessary suffering?

“I say no, I say we start with you and if there continues to be more deaths due to drink-driving then we keep making sentences tougher till we eradicate this epidemic on our roads.”

No imput

Speaking to The Irish Times last night, Mr Treacy said: "I shouldn't have had to write this letter to him. It is the only way to open it up. The family didn't get any input really into the case. The system isn't kind to families and that is the bottom line."

In his January letter, Mr O’Rourke said: “I could write this a hundred times and still it would not say what I want to say, or express the devastation I feel for what I did.

“My words are not strong enough to portray the feelings of guilt, sadness and desperation I have been feeling for making the decision to drive that night. I wake up every morning and my first thought is of the life I took and the damage I have caused the Treacy family.

“I cannot take back or change what has happened but I would gladly give my life for that of Ciaran, so that he could live his. I know that this is not enough, or never will be.

“I never intended to hurt anyone that night, particularly not a mother on her way home with her children. I can only imagine, having kids myself, how cheated and angry you must feel because of this horrific accident, and if things were not bad enough having to deal with your bitter loss you have to try and cope with your life-changing injuries as well.”

Later, he went on: “I can only imagine what you must think of me for what has happened but I just want to make it clear from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am, and will be for the rest of my life. I never dreamed in my worst nightmares I could cause such devastation. I just hope with the help of God above that you and your family can find some peace. I am so terribly, terribly sorry for the pain and misery I have caused to your beautiful family.”

*These are edited extracts from the letters.