Psychologist Marie Murray says anger's primitive function is to help humans fight for their safety, protect their children, food or possessions or to give people the adrenalin rush to get away from danger.
"In some instances, it may signal a physical or psychological disorder and a pattern of explosive anger, uncontrollable outbursts or generally poor impulse control and warrant medical investigation," she says.
Understanding what makes you angry is important:
• Know your own anger hotspots;
• Avoid situations that annoy you if you can;
• When most angry, say NOTHING;
• Wait for a day at least when you are angry before you make the phone call;
• If you are stressed, get help;
• If you need medical attention, get it, otherwise you jeopardise your mental health, your physical health, your relationships and your life by being furious;
• If it is the model you learnt, witnessed or experienced in childhood, if it is how your parents or one of your parents dealt with everything, then it is a problem;
• If you are tearfully angry, you have a problem.
Everyone needs help when there is anyone in the house who cannot control his/her anger.
Murray makes suggestions for responding to angry people:
If someone gets angry with you, listen and do not respond. Don't let them justify their anger by seeing you get angry in return.
Your greatest weapon with angry people is to remain calm yourself.
If poor anger control is part of a pattern of domestic violence which you, or your children experience, get professional help immediately.
Contacts:
• Aware: www.aware.ie
• Samaritans: www.samaritans.org
• Mental Health Ireland: www.mentalhealthireland.ie
• Women's Aid: www.womensaid.ie
• Parentline: www.parentline.ie
• Psychological Society of Ireland: www.psihq.ie
• Gael Lindenfield: www.gaellindenfield.com
• St John of God hospital: www.sjog.ie