ASK THE EXPERT:Could my daughter's night terrors be related to potty training?
Q I READ with interest your piece about night terrors on Tuesday, August 11th. I was hoping there would be a quick-fix solution, but alas, no. My four year old has had night terrors every night since Christmas. I have been working on the assumption that it will pass. But eight months later I am wrecked!
I have three children. We go upstairs to get ready for bed at 6pm, we have an hour in which they change into their pyjamas, we read a story, close the curtains and chat until 7pm (two share a room) and then I take her youngest sibling (age 23 months) to her cot in her own room. Everything is calm and happy. Up to Christmas no one woke at night. Happy days.
Last night, for example, they were all asleep at 7pm. My daughter had her first episode at 9.20pm, I stayed with her for about 10 minutes. Next one was at 10.15, again at 11pm, 12.20am, 1.30am, 2.50am and the last one was at 4.30am. Each time I stayed with her and tried to soothe her for 10-15 minutes but she tried to kick and hit me and was screaming.
Amazingly, she does not wake her sister who shares her room. But twice she woke the baby last night, which involved more time settling the baby. After a night like that everyone was up again at 7am! I can’t keep it up.
I have a light blanket on her at night. She has her dinner around 5pm so is not too full. I am at home and she does not have “stress” in her life. Lately she seems to be fighting more with her older sister and is completely overreacting to small things.
The only thing I can think of is that she had a lot of trouble potty training and was nearly three and a half before she got it. We attempted to take her night nappies in January and I had to put her back into them in July. We had very little success – one in four nights is dry. And she could wet the bed two to three times in a night. I wonder has this any bearing? I am at my wits’ end and wonder is there anything else I could do to help get a few hours’ sleep at night.
AYour description of your recent night will, I am sure, resonate with many parents who experience sleep disruption, to a greater or lesser extent, due to their children's sleep disturbance. Having children who don't sleep the night is truly exhausting for us parents!
I must admit that I am surprised to hear that your daughter has so many terrors in the one night. In my limited experience of night terrors I always understood that one or two episodes of night terrors per week were more common.
Given the extremely high frequency of her night terrors I think it is worth getting her medically checked out, including, perhaps, a full assessment at a sleep clinic. Your GP should be able to refer you locally.
As I was doing my research for the last article I too was struck by the distinct lack of clear explanation for the cause(s) for night terrors and, consequently, the lack of reliable treatment options.
I am intrigued by the timing of the onset of her night terrors and the apparent coincidence in their arrival with her toilet training and also the potential stresses that you describe in training her at night.
I don’t know if her struggle to master her bladder control at night causes her night terrors, but I too wonder if they are associated in some way. For example, night-time wetting often occurs because children sleep too deeply and don’t get the physiological messages that their bladders are full and that they need to “wake” to go to the toilet.
Night terrors are also understood to occur during the period of deepest sleep. So your daughter may have some unconscious anxiety about her struggle to be dry at night and perhaps this is expressed in a night terror.
Unfortunately, I have no magic wand solutions to offer. Hopefully she can have her sleep patterns tracked at a sleep clinic and this may offer up some ideas for why the terrors occur and how they may be reduced.
Alternatively it may be that simply reducing any possible pressure on her about her night-time toileting may help her be more relaxed and less prone to the night terrors.
To help with your own exhaustion grab opportunities during the day when the older two are back at school and the younger one is having her own nap that you can take a few minutes to sleep too.
Also, try to take it in turns to respond to your daughter, on a night-on night-off basis with your husband. Just like your other daughter you will be amazed that when you don’t feel responsible to respond, you will be able to sleep through anything.
- David Coleman is a clinical psychologist and broadcaster with RTÉ television
- Readers' queries are welcome and will be answered through the column, but David regrets he cannot enter into individual correspondence. Questions should be e-mailed to healthsupplement @irishtimes.com