TIME OUT: 'Tis the season not to be wasted but appreciated
TO EVERYTHING there is a season and the season to live it up in life is autumn. Traditional metaphor for the older years of life, autumn has always been the best season. It has none of the fanfare and busybodyiness of spring with its startling green, its razzmatazz, it’s “look at me I’ve arrived” and its exaggerated promises. Autumn is itself and it is wonderful.
Autumn has none of the clammy cloyness of summer, all dressed up and stressed out by how soon it will end, trying to pack in every moment in the searing sun, or having to swallow disappointment when the season that should be brightest is overcast. Summer has expectations of itself that autumn does not have. Autumn knows itself.
Autumn gives no false promises. It has no fanfare. It is quietly confident. It does not hop, get in a strop or shout. It has learned that understatement is better than exaggeration. It accepts the bad press that it gets. Autumn understands
the distortion, the misrepresentation, the ignorance of its beauty, the assumptions about its status and the disregard for its worth. It is secure in the secret knowledge of itself that is not available to those who have not yet reached that season.
Those who know autumn know how great it is, when, to quote Albert Camus, “every leaf is a flower”. Think of the abundance of that. Think of the beauty of that. Autumn is another time in our lives to have fun and the capacity to do so is high. That is autumn’s imperative: that it not be wasted but be appreciated and every second of its time used well.
Keats rightly brought recognition to autumn as mellow, mature, ripe and sweet. Autumn has it all, and so should we when we reach that stage in our lives. It is our season. It is the time that is “loaded and blessed” when all is ripeness to the core. It is time to “swell the gourd”, cherish the secret variegated vibrancy of autumn’s colours, the verve, the vivacity, life being lived.
Autumn is not competitive. It allows the preceding seasons to be. It supports them. It is secure in itself. It is in no hurry. It waits until they are done with rushing and ripening, being busy and budding. Then autumn gathers all that richness, savours its abundance and sizzles in its own quiet way. Autumn is wise.
Autumn is a time when we relish who we are, when we appreciate each moment of each day, the presence of others whom we love and the many friends in our lives. If we have lost people, we continue in our bereavement to love them, revere them and keep them, and live life more fully on their behalf.
There are axioms that make the experience of autumn most fulfilling. They are looking back in understanding not in anger, allowing others who are embroiled in earlier seasons to live their own lives, identifying all that is positive in the autumn season and planning ahead carefully and well.
Autumn allows the best of all worlds: to be indoors by a fire or outdoors in the rich crispness of its days. It allows travel with greater ease than in crowded summer months or staying at home to learn about what is all around us. Autumn is about identifying what is genuine in life and then living life authentically.
Autumn brings freedom because it is without conceit; without concern about the views of others, except those whom we respect.
Autumn is without regrets that are destructive. It is without fear for the future because there is still time to do whatever needs to be done. It should be without worry about the present because so much has already been survived, coping skills have been demonstrated and, if more are needed, they will be found.
In autumn, life can be lived to the fullest by recognising the years behind, the experiences gained, the knowledge acquired and the wisdom accrued. Autumn is the season of gratitude.
You don’t waste time when you have reached a half century or more, because it’s time to look ahead to the next half century and live it up to the full.
Marie Murray is a clinical psychologist, writer and broadcaster. This column is an adaptation of the talk, Living it Up After 50, presented at the Over 50s Show the RDS last weekend