Routine worries

Aileen Flynn: 'I'm always reluctant to label myself as a particular type of parent, to be put into a certain box," says Aileen Flynn, a Dublin mother of three. "For example, we use a lot of attachment parenting, but our children don't co-sleep because it didn't suit us. It works better for us that way."

She read about William Sears's attachment parenting approach when she was expecting her second child and found she identified with much of his philosophy. The former business analyst notes that her three children's routines evolved as she followed their cues. "I was quite glad I hadn't read my way into it from the start, though," she says. "I knew I wasn't slavishly following a method, I was following my instincts.

"A lot of people think that you can't do attachment parenting if you work outside the home but that's not the case," she says. "I worked in an office until my second child was 18 months old and I work from home now. We adapted to suit that. We just kept doing what felt right and responsive to our kids."

Mary-Rose Kenealy

When Mary-Rose Kenealy's second baby was waking regularly, she bought Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby Book for advice. There were some useful practical tips, but she and husband Brian found the schedules too restrictive for family life. The regime didn't gel with the school run, and meant Brian would have little time with the children in the evenings. "I know some people for whom Ford's approach has worked well," says Mary-Rose, "but some books suit certain family set-ups more than others."

She also felt uncomfortable putting a baby on a rigid schedule so young. "I agree that routines are good for an older baby, but I don't think it's realistic that newborns sleep and breastfeed to such a strict routine."

A scientist, Mary-Rose read a range of parenting books, and then made decisions about parenting that took her family into account. "Books are great for moral support I think, and you take out of them what you like, and ignore what you don't like."