Twelve things women should know about men...

This week it s designated Men's Health week as part of the Irish Times/Pfizer Health town project which has designated Portlaoise as this year's healthy town. We thought it might be useful to provide a small insight into the thinking woman's man...

- Tip 1: Never say to a man “why are you going to the pub when there’s loads of beer in the fridge?” It will be received with a mixture of pity and loathing.

- Tip 2: Never say “did you leave the toilet seat up?” Men do not understand rhetorical questions.

- Tip 3: Don’t say “would you mind putting on a whites wash?” unless you really like 50 shades of grey.

- Tip 4: Don’t say “you have a day off? Great.That’ll give you a chance to tidy out the shed/cut the grass/ paint the house/ do the shopping”. (If you really want these jobs done just pay someone).

Tip 5: Don’t ask “what would you like do, as the kids are away for the evening?” You’ll only embarrass yourself.

Tip 6: Do ask if your boyfriend/husband’s friend/best friend’s wife or partner had a baby. Don’t ask for its name bodyweight or sex. You’ll only embarrass both of you.

Tip 7: Don’t ask a man who has been out for a drink with his best friend, whose relationship has just broken up, how his friend is doing, unless you want the truth: “We both think Man Utd are having a bad season and as for that Van Gal guy…..”

Tip 8: Don’t ask: Where would you like to go on holidays next year? Unless you want to go back to where you went this year.

Tip 9: Don’t say “I think its in that drawer” when asked if you know where something is. Men are congenitally blind where drawers are concerned.

Tip 10: If a man says he has a headache, he probably has.

Tip 11: Don’t say some other woman is very pretty, if she’s not. And don’t say: “No really, she has lovely hair. “ Men aren’t completely stupid. Sure they’re not?

Tip 12: Keep doing what you have always done best: persuading men that whatever you really want to do was actually their idea in the first place. It’s worked well so far.

For tips on health, go to www.irishtimes.com/healthytown