MIND MOVES Marie Murray'Nobody thought of her, nobody wanted her." This is the experience of nine-year-old Mary Lennox in the opening pages of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
This story, set at the beginning of the 20th century, is one that speaks to the secret belief of many children, that they are unloved, unlovable, unseen and forgotten in the adult world. It taps into two primary universal childhood fears: fear of rejection and fear of abandonment. Mary experiences both.
What we learn about Mary Lennox in The Secret Garden is that she was rejected as a baby and handed over to the care of "servants" in India, then orphaned as a child of nine years and sent alone to her uncle's desolate house on the Yorkshire moors.
But there she discovers that she is not the only child who is frightened, rejected, materially wealthy, socially privileged and achingly abandoned and alone. There she experiences the healing power of friendship and the astonishing gift of living surrounded by nature.
This book is rich with psychological perspectives on childhood, parenthood, adulthood and life construed by a child. It delineates a child's experience of isolation and solitude and how being unloved shapes the identity of children.
Mary's terse, angry, abrupt, defensive, cold and closed approach to people is shown for what it is: an appropriate defence against the emotional wounds of dismissal and disregard. This is a normal response to rejection. It reminds us yet again that children reflect what they see.
Mary is not alone in suffering at the hands of ill-informed adults. Her Yorkshire cousin Colin's hysterical illness is brought about by the power of negative prediction, showing that children become what they are believed to be.
Good or bad, ill or well, even tempered or tempestuous, in control of their emotions or overwhelmed by them, they live out of the scripts assigned to them unless the spell of negative conviction is broken. The Secret Garden is the physical and psychological wand that breaks that spell for Mary and Colin.
What has made The Secret Garden one of childhood's special stories for almost 100 years is the messages it seems to contain for children reading it, and, indeed, for adults revisiting it. Its messages go beyond the "spoilt children are miserable children" message; that "selfishness" is self-defeating and deprives oneself more than others; that misery makes you ugly and unhappy.
It goes beyond its messages about the futility of material advantage without the warmth of parental love or that education does not provide the wisdom that being attuned to nature gives.
The story evokes sympathy, empathy and understanding in children for other children who may seem to be "sour", petulant, irritable, angry and annoying, reminding everyone that bad temper may be the result of bad experiences. It shows that people can change if they are given the right conditions in which to do so.
The Secret Garden resonates in a particular way with children and that is why it remains a classic. It addresses the ideas, life experiences, anxieties, beliefs and fears that some children may bring to it when they begin to read it and therein lies its particular healing power for children who are anxious or who are lacking in self-confidence, affirmation or self-esteem.
It reminds those children who are happy, content and confident of their privilege. It is a different story for every child who reads it and a different story for every adult who rereads it when previously read as a child.
Childhood concerns do not change radically from one generation to the next. Learning how children understand their situation and resolve it has unchanging appeal for other children. This therapeutic power of storytelling says to the child "you are not alone, isolated, unique or singled out in your situation. It has happened to others before and here is their story."
But the story of The Secret Garden points to another transformative therapeutic activity for children that can never date: the psychological healing that being in a garden, digging, weeding, planting, turning the soil, watching things grow gives to children. The secret garden is a healing garden. That is also its message. We see what happens when children are given an opportunity to "be", out of doors, in the presence of small living creatures, watch birds and animals go about their business, to be patient until planted things sprout and grow. We see how children progress who have time, sufficient adult protection but not too much adult intervention.
There are many presents we can give children particularly at Christmas time. But gifts are different from presents. A gift has meaning and transformative power. Love of reading and love of nature are gifts that exceed possessions. Nature does not become boring, redundant, defunct or require new expensive revisions.
Reading is a treasure carried forever. Give a child stories that are appropriate and inspirational, gardening tools, a patch of earth and a packet of seed and you gift them for life.
For information on stories and nature for children: The Secret Garden, December 8th-
January 8th, www.thehelix.ie by Landmark Productions and The Helix Nature for children at Airfield Urban Farm, info@airfield.ie or tel: 01-2984301
mmurray@irish-times.ie
Marie Murray is director of psychology at St Vincent's Hospital, Fairview.