Being addicted to exercise may seem a comical complaint to those who go to any lengths to avoid exertion. But compulsive exercising is no laughing matter for anyone suffering from this disorder. Their lives centre around the food they have eaten and the exercise they must take to work off calories. The thought of a rice cake in their systems will make them run five miles to burn it off.
Compulsive exercising is not a new phenomenon, according to Dr John Griffin, director of the Eating Disorders Programme at St Patrick's Hospital in Dublin. "However, the nature of the compulsion has changed because of the prevalence of gyms," he says. "Ten or 15 years ago, there was a craze of jogging and anorectics (sufferers of anorexia) in particular did this, often jogging five or 10 miles a day to lose weight." Dr Griffin has seen many anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa patients who are addicted to exercise.
"But especially anorectics, who will go to any lengths to lose weight," he says. Teenage anorectics often exercise privately to purge the calories. "They could do 250 or 300 sit-ups to burn off the food they have just eaten," he says. Many bulimia sufferers are older and so are free from parental control. "They can exercise as much as they like. Some can exercise in a gym for three hours a night." And, because most people don't have a personal trainer, gym staff are unlikely to notice the compulsive behaviour. Most modern gym equipment now has calorie counters which can further fuel the obsession.
Compulsive exercising brings a whole new set of health problems, particularly joint damage if sufferers run on pavements, according to Dr Griffin. And because most compulsive exercisers suffer from eating disorders, they are putting pressure on an already weak body.
For many members of Obsessive Eaters Anonymous (OEA), a recently-formed support group, compulsive exercising has been a fact of life. The group, which meets weekly, is for people who are obsessed with weight, size or eating. The word "obsessive" is not used lightly.
One member stole food, so deep was her shame at wanting it. Another went to one gym at lunchtime and a different one in the evening so staff wouldn't try to stop her fanatical exercising. Another would spend a full day worrying about a chocolate she consumed that morning. They are different to other people, they say, because when they eat or exercise they do so addictively. "There are people who can diet successfully just as there are people who can drink alcohol yet are not alcoholics. We are like alcoholics but our addiction is not with drink, it's with weight, size or eating," says Catherine.
The group uses the 12-step programme pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. The first step is to admit that their obsession has made their lives unmanageable. Admitting their wrongs and asking for help from whatever deity they believe in are included in the 12 steps.
OEA gives no guidance in relation to eating habits. Instead, it believes that if the 12 steps are followed and people find a greater self-acceptance, the obsession will reduce. The five women who spoke to The Irish Times agreed their obsession took similar patterns. "If I got a diet of 1,200 calories a day, I immediately halved that to 600 calories. It had to be all or nothing," Helen recalls. Because of their addictive personalities, most have also experienced problems with alcohol. "Food was my first drug of choice, alcohol was the secondary drug," Helen says. Anne remembers turning to drink when she felt too full to eat anymore. "If it hadn't been food, it would have been alcohol," she says.
The obsessiveness shows up in other areas of their lives. "If a window was dirty, I wouldn't be happy just cleaning it, I would have to clean every window in the house. If I had to take out the Hoover when the child dropped crisps, I would have to vacuum the entire house," says Anne. While "recovery" for other addicts means giving up the addictive substance, it's a different matter for people with a food addiction. "You can't give up food so recovery means different things to different people," says Catherine. "Some people have lost weight, some have gained weight and some have stayed the same. But for almost all of us, the way we behave around food has changed."
For Helen, joining OEA meant the end of a 20-year cycle of dieting and bingeing. "It had put my life on hold. Every diet was the one that was going to work. And some of them did for a while, but then the weight went back on again. I always felt deprived. Working the 12 steps brought balance to my life. I don't over-eat like I used to, now. I've accepted this is the body I have at this stage in my life. I'm not saying I wouldn't like to be slimmer but I know I'll never be a size 12." Anne was a compulsive exerciser who attended a number of gyms and used a rowing machine at home.
"Of course, I had to overdo it. You were supposed to spend 10 minutes on the machine. I would spend over half an hour on it every morning and evening." Later, she took up squash and bought the same skirt in three sizes to conceal her changing weight. Ironically, people often found themselves being praised for their addiction to exercise. "Exercise is seen as the new cure-all so a lot of people can keep up their addiction without being noticed," says Grainne.
Looking back on her childhood, she realises her obsessive traits were present then. She was obsessed with being close to the teacher. When the class broke for lunch, Grainne would take a piece of chalk and draw around the legs of her desk in case anyone moved it. Other members recall being unhappy children, over-eager to please others and with very low self-esteem. "A lot of it comes from poor self-esteem," says Catherine. "The 12 steps help us to understand ourselves and accept ourselves for what we are."
Obsessive Eaters Anonymous can be contacted by mail at PO Box 7555, Glenageary, Co Dublin, by phone at 01- 4515600, or by e-mail at obsessiveeaters@hotmail.com
Names of the members interviewed for this article have been changed at their request as the group has a rule about anonymity