Fine Gael's answer to the boy named Sue has boots made for walking

A Merrion Street stroll signalled a new era, even if it was left to the ‘New York Times’ to improve Cabinet gender balance

IT’S A whole new world for Edna, the bubbly blonde hotel receptionist from Mayo.

First day as Taoiseach, a sex change and a big write-up in an American newspaper to go with it.

Such excitement! Then the nice people from the Central Statistics Office invited Edna over to Merrion Square to launch the 2011 census. A sample copy of the census form was produced for the occasion and under job description they helpfully filled in “hotel receptionist”. But this was incorrect. Edna Kenny is Taoiseach now.

We know this, because it was printed in the New York Times. Granted, they had to publish an embarrassing correction afterwards, but at least they managed to do something our new Government couldn't and temporarily improve the gender balance in Cabinet.

A fella could get confused with this class of misunderstanding, but not Enda Kenny.

He may be one of Mayo’s leading metrosexuals (was that tinted moisturiser he was wearing yesterday? Gives the skin a healthy glow) but he is also “a man of steel”. He earned this title after repelling the challengers in last year’s leadership heave.

So Enda, Fine Gael’s answer to a boy named Sue, strode across from Government Buildings in a macho fashion for the photocall and didn’t bat an eyelid when asked to pose for pictures with four winsome infants, even though all the ministerial boys know that anything to do with children is women’s stuff.

He was full of the joys. And why wouldn’t he be? It was the Fine Gael leader’s first full day as Taoiseach, the sun was shining and the dubious honour of starting the Coalition’s inaugural row had gone to the Labour Party.

Not even 24 hours in power and Eamon Gilmore’s lot were fighting over who got the big jobs. Now that he’s a proper statesman, Enda said it was nothing to do with him and he got on with the business in hand: colouring in pictures with a fat marker.

The children were busily colouring in little buses and trains and people’s frocks on a large poster designed to show all the people who will be filling in their census form on Sunday, April 10th. Enda got stuck in. “Is there any minister I can pick out here?” he asked the kiddies. He mustn’t have seen the cowboy in the centre of the picture.

“Oh look, there’s a guy standing here at a bus stop – we’ll have to get Minister Varadkar out,” exclaimed the Taoiseach to the baffled tots. He reached over with his fat marker to a man flying a kite. But he didn’t colour in the kite. He coloured in the man’s face. Blue. Obliterating the features.

Then he drew a blue blob, which could have been a cloud.

The children smiled indulgently, although you could see they thought he was mad.

A nice easy photo opportunity to ease Enda into office. “I’m on my way to Brussels later,” he declared, delighted with himself, before returning, in a macho fashion, to his new office.

Much to the fascination of the broadcast media, the Taoiseach walked to work yesterday morning. Or at least he walked a few yards up Merrion Street and in through the gates of Government Buildings, thus signalling a new era of frugal management without swanky trappings such as chauffeur-driven Mercs.

Enda’s selfless decision to be filmed while making his way “on foot” along a footpath was hailed as a promising sign of things to come.

“It’s good to be able to walk to work,” the Taoiseach said to the photographers. One breathless broadcaster told listeners that he “walked unaided” through the gates, as if he’d lost a leg during the Coalition negotiations.

Or maybe people thought he’d be incapable of putting one foot in front of the other after the previous night’s celebration in the Davenport Hotel, when Fine Gael had a knees-up in Enda’s honour. The Taoiseach stayed into the early hours, working the crowd, but he left the drinking to his delirious supporters.

In a nice ecumenical touch, Dara Calleary, the only Fianna Fáil deputy in Mayo along with four Fine Gael TDs, called in to toast his fellow countyman’s success.

Meanwhile, Leinster House returned to normal after the unprecedented scenes that accompanied the first day of the 31st Dáil. At the height of the madness, the ushers were forced to restrict entry to the bar for health and safety reasons. But supporters of the new deputy for Kerry South, Tom Fleming, were happily ensconced inside with one of their number giving it socks on the squeeze box.

There were reports of visitors getting stuck in the revolving doors. There was hardly a stick of food left in the canteen.

While Fine Gael chose to stay close to Kildare Street for their celebration, Labour held a function in the Radisson Hotel in Golden Lane, next to the venue they rented for their election headquarters. We don’t know if any of their new Ministers attended, although Joan Burton, deprived of a senior finance portfolio, is unlikely to have been up for a party.

Since the glitch in Wednesday’s Dáil timetable for unveiling the Cabinet, talk around Leinster House has centred on the missing 30 minutes – that intriguing half-hour delay after the ministerial line-up should have been announced.

Fine Gael say it had nothing to do with them. Labour hasn’t contradicted this. But that’s all they are saying, broaching no talk of tantrums prompting Eamon Gilmore to rejig his team list.

The minor gongs were handed out yesterday afternoon. Fifteen junior ministers – and not the promised reduction to a dozen – got the nod, giving the Opposition its first opportunity to accuse the Coalition of performing a U-turn.

And how will they handle the State car situation? “I drove myself in this morning, as usual,” said Minister for Communications Pat Rabbitte, who is now in charge of RTÉ, his second home.

Minister for Arts Jimmy Deenihan set the cat among the pigeons when he pitched up in Merrion Street at the wheel of an old double-decker bus.

Enda Kenny, as we know, walked that historic and heroic few yards.

Edna Kenny, the hotel receptionist, stayed at home.