Few aboard for Bertie caught in snarling traffic

Dáil Sketch/Frank McNally: Ominously for the national transport plan, Bertie Ahern was slightly late arriving for Leaders' Questions…

Dáil Sketch/Frank McNally: Ominously for the national transport plan, Bertie Ahern was slightly late arriving for Leaders' Questions. Maybe he'd been delayed due to leaves on the line.

But the Taoiseach is normally as reliable as Thomas the Tank Engine. When he eventually pulled into the platform two and a half minutes behind schedule, the Opposition was in belligerent mood.

Ominously too for Mr Ahern, he was badly outnumbered. If the Government benches were the airport metro, the system would simply not be viable on yesterday's figures. Including himself, only six Fianna Fáil TDs were on board at the start. And although they picked up a few passengers en route, you could still have fitted the group in a wheelchair-accessible taxi.

It was as if his backbenchers knew the Taoiseach would be going through a rough area and decided not to risk it.

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It started promisingly enough, as Mr Ahern negotiated the pleasant, well-heeled neighbourhood of Richard Bruton. In the week the Government promised a Grand Central Station under St Stephen's Green, Enda Kenny was in New York. And if his deputy leader is correct, that was the only place Enda, or the rest of us, would be seeing a Grand Central anytime soon.

Belying his innate politeness, Mr Bruton savaged the masterplan as a collection of recycled aspirations and "an elaborate sham". When Mr Ahern responded with a litany of infrastructural projects that were in on time, the Fine Gael man responded with his own litany, of other big Government launches that had run into turbulence.

"Every time you're in difficulty, you produce a plan," snarled Mr Bruton (or as near as he could get to snarling).

Pat Rabbitte never has any trouble snarling, and yesterday was no exception.

If half the Opposition's Wallace-and-Gromit combo was missing, the Labour leader made up for it. The Revenge of the Were-Rabbitte was almost painful to watch at times, as he stomped all over Bertie's transport plan like it was a prize marrow, leaving only squelching debris in his wake.

His tactic was to concentrate on Dublin Bus, about which he accused the Minister for Transport of having "lied barefacedly". After the usual stand-off with the chair over the "L" word, the Labour leader accepted Mr Bruton's compromise of "blatant untruth" for Mr Cullen's claims about bus provision, and stomped onwards.

His comprehensive trashing of the master-plan included telling the Taoiseach that he was "making a very bad job of defending it". And he concluded by suggesting that even if Mr Ahern continued "digging the hole he's in", it would never be big enough for a metro.

Mr Ahern battled gamely against the onslaught. Unfortunately he was now facing a wall of Opposition heckling, a stark contrast with the silence behind him. He dismissed the criticisms as "the usual oul' begrudgery". But his discomfort was clear long before he spoke of transport companies called "Bus Éireann" and "Dublin Éireann".

The Ceann Comhairle later pointed out that the Rabbitte question-and-answer alone had taken "18½ minutes" rather than the seven allowed. For the Taoiseach it was not only late, it was way over budget.