When will "willy" finally meet his match?

My three-year-old came in the other day with the complaint that she had a pain in her "Down There". A hive was the culprit and all was well in that department.

Or was it? Now, I have two boys and they "willy" out of them without an inhibition in the world - and, to be honest, I reckon it's as good a name as any for that particular part of the male anatomy. It did fine, anyway, until they got their tongue around "penis" (metaphorically speaking).

There's something endearing about a little fella and the way he refers to his privates, a kind of unabashed self-confidence. But, there doesn't seem to be a generic term for the female equivalent that has the same broad acceptance. Now, I don't know many three-year-olds who use the V-word, but maybe I'm old-fashioned.

Perhaps the fact that I'm from a generation where such things were never mentioned has something to do with my lack of nonchalance in matters of this type. I know that my own mother would go for the holy water if my daughter used that particular term for her nether regions.

It'd be a bit like the time one of the boys found a tampon in my closet. "Well, start them in time, anyway," was her response.

But isn't it funny the way the female body is still a bit taboo? Is it a trace of the past lingering on, from the time when women were churched after giving birth, while daddies contented themselves with a celebratory pint and a cigar?

Or the way married women were almost ashamed to announce they were pregnant because it was almost admitting that, yes, they had had sex?

But, then, on the other hand, most women nowadays grow into familiarity with their bodies, and can actually verbalise concerns they might have better than men do. I suppose the whole process of giving birth, usually with an audience watching the performance, let's loose any lingering inhibitions that we might have.

In contrast, men seem to find it harder to discuss their private parts as adults. A friend of mine told me of a doctor who grew so tired of grown men telling him of problems with their "willies" that he asked one if he would also tell the garage that something was wrong with the "beep-beep".

Anyway, I raked my brain to solve the "Down There" problem. "Fanny"? Too Victorian. "Ginny", suggested a friend. Yuck!

In the end, the child solved it herself. "Daddy, I have a spot on my front behind," she announced that evening.

A contradiction in terms? Maybe, but it'll do fine for another while in my house.