Preparation for life

I WAS surprised recently when a group of teenagers I know could not cook themselves a basic meal, like hamburgers. I have been aghast when a supposedly intelligent 20 year old tried to feed a very young child sausages and fish fingers that were still frozen on the inside.

A colleague of my recently had to interview 30 young people for a job and was surprised at what they turned up in for interview. Some had stains on their clothes and fashion aside, looked positively unkempt.

Too many young people these days do not seem to have a basic knowledge of survival, like how to cook, look after themselves, do laundry, clean, sew on a button or find and keep a job.

One of the primary tasks of families and schools is to teach children to become productive, independent adults. It is frightening when you think that the children of today are not learning the basic skills they need to live happily and work productively, so that when they leave the family nest they may flounder.

I am not blaming anyone here, especially not schools. This basic knowledge, I feel, in an ideal world should be home based and should start from a very early age.

One reason why this basic knowledge may be slipping is because in these modern days many families spend less time together because both parents are working and time together is precious.

Perhaps a busy mother or father has little opportunity or time to pass down the basic skills which were generally passed down from generation to generation.

Schools are very busy places too, and while trying to give a wholesome education all are very aware of the points race.

One very good approach is the job experience opportunities encouraged by some schools. This shows the pupils what it is like being out in the big world. Many schools do mock job interviews and advise on appropriate interview dress and preparation of a curriculum vitae, but perhaps not enough schools do - does yours?

Both sexes should learn home economics and how to sew, cook and do the essentials. Boys and girls both need this basic knowledge. All parents should he aware that they need to pass on essential domestic skills. Just as it is important for the parent to take time for the child, it is also important for the child to help the parent run the home.

Sometimes a mother working outside the home may get help to do these chores, or does them once the children are in bed, and it means the child never learns them.

Make out a family rota of who does what chores weekly, like making beds, washing up, vacuuming, setting the tables and rotate it so everyone gets a turn and if they do not know how to do it, then teach them.

Give them something to care for - so they can take responsibility to care - a patch of garden or a pet. I remember one teacher giving his class an egg to look after, likening it to a vulnerable new born baby. Needless to say some eggs did not last long.

Teach the ethos "doing it together is fun" - perhaps make a lovely pizza together. It will be time well spent together and they will appreciate the amount of work it takes to make a meal and will eat and enjoy it more readily.

So sharing tasks together is a good way "outside the home" working mums can get help and share time and activities together with their children.

Children learn by watching their parents. Take even the baby to the kitchen (placed safely of course) and let them watch as you prepare the meal. Soon, as they grow, they can join in - yes it gets very messy sometimes, but keep encouraging and soon you will have a valuable helper.

From a early age, a child can spread butter and jam on toast with a blunt knife. Making your own sandwich gives a great sense of achievement. Don't give your daughters and sons the gender stereotyped jobs. Make sure she and he can do all tasks. She can wash the car and he can cook - remember to rotate all the tasks at hand.

All this involvement and doing together gives great opportunities for affection, `craic' and having pure fun together.

The more children do at home, the more this is reflected in the classroom. In fact helping and involvement at home is a key element in helping gain confidence and competence at school.

The toddler who is taught how to do things and help at home is confident and able to take in more knowledge when she or he starts school. Teach them how to care for themselves in simple things like toilet care, washing your hands and flushing the toilet. Buy clothes that the child can manage herself or himself, and encourage them to pick out the clothes and dress themselves. Is very important and is confidence building.

Children should be encouraged to develop all their many talents from an early age. We parents have to look at the long term rather than the short term.

It is our task to teach our children how to be independent, responsible adults who understand their important role in the growth of family, community life and, of course, the care of the world as a whole. That is what preparing the children for the real world is all about.