Knowing how to read the signs

THE THOUGHTS of children using drugs is understandably frightening to parents.

When we think of drugs, the worst possible outcomes generally come to mind.

However, it is important to remember that most young people do not use illegal drugs. In fact, the number who do is small compared to the number who use alcohol, though many young people will at some time come in contact with others who have used illegal drugs and we need to prepare them for this possibility.

The main questions that arise for us as parents are

. How can I prevent my child from using drugs?

. What would I notice if my child were using drugs?

. What should I do if my child is using drugs?

It is important to stay in touch with the reality of our children's lives, to discuss with them and know how they are feeling, what they enjoy, what they find difficult, where they are and who they are with.

Research has shown that young people using illegal drugs for the first time usually do so with friends. Friends can exercise a strong influence and young people can feel under pressure to do as their peers do.

Make sure that you know your children's friends. Welcome them to your home. That way they can have somewhere to be together and you can be a greater influence.

Talk with your children and more importantly, listen to their views and feelings. Without this on going communication, misunderstandings can arise and you can lose contact with your children. This leaves them more open to influence from others.

Talk with them about current issues, including alcohol and drugs. Parents may often warn their children about the dangers of drugs, but it is more important to listen, discuss the issue calmly and avoid exaggeration. Simply by talking with them openly you can be a positive influence.

It is important that young people have scope to make decisions. Otherwise, we may push them into a corner, where they feel that they have no control over their lives and that their only option is to rebel. Supporting them, from an early stage, to be in a position to make responsible decisions in their lives can be a most fruitful approach.

It is essential for young people to have interests which give them an alternative to using drugs. Encourage them in their interests. Teenagers who are involved in hobbies and learning, who are confident, happy and secure are less likely to take drugs.

Most teenagers who take drugs do so because they want to experiment or feel acceptable to friends. Others take drugs to feel more confident, to overcome shyness, to block out feelings of unhappiness, inadequacy, anxiety, loneliness, or to calm an angry mood. A small number use drugs as a way of dealing with emotional problems.

Rebelliousness, low self esteem, difficulty accepting feelings and low academic aspirations are among characteristics commonly found in teenage drug users.

However, anyone's child can use drugs. There is not always an obvious explanation for why a child is using drugs. We can influence our children, but we cannot live their lives.

Most young people who try drugs out of curiosity do not continue to use them regularly. They tend to use them infrequently and to give them up completely after a period.

However, the risk is that what begins as an experiment can, for some, lead to trouble with family, friends, school, the law and sadly, in some cases, it can lead to addiction or even death.

It is most important for parents to be alert to signs that may lead them to suspect drug use. This can be quite difficult, as some of the behaviours are common teenage reactions.

The signs to be alert to are

. gradual change in the young person's habits

. sudden changes of mood

. uncharacteristic irritability or aggression furtive behaviour and lying

. change in friends (particularly where the young person is associating with known drug abusers)

. loss of interest in school, hobbies, sports general lethargy

. unexplained disappearance of money or belongings from home

. loss of appetite

. bouts of drowsiness or sleeplessness

. telephone calls that frighten the young person

. unusual spots, sores and marks on arms or around the mouth and nose.

If you suspect that your child is taking drugs, stop and think before you do anything and then talk to him or her about it in a calm way. Talk about the behaviour that you have observed and ask if she or he is using alcohol or other drugs.

If your child admits to using drugs, make it clear that it is the drug taking you reject and that your concern is for his or her welfare. Encourage your child to talk and listen to what is being said. It is important to get to the truth of the matter.

Parents should listen to what their children are saying about themselves, the drug taking and any problems they may have. Try to find out what they have taken, and how long they have been using the substances. If it is a "one off" situation, you may only need to express firm disapproval and give your reasons. Such occasions can have serious consequences, but in most cases swift supportive, firm, consistent responses end the drug taking.

Drug taking even when the young person is using regularly, can be halted, provided suitable action is taken. It is very valuable to involve a trained outsider, as initial feelings of shock, anger and disappointment may be very strong and crowd in on you. A trained counsellor can help you assess the needs of the young person and the depth of the problem, and you can then decide what action is necessary.

Don't try to do it on your own, as a young person who is quite deeply involved with drugs can be difficult to communicate with. The consequences of drug taking are too serious to hope that the problem will go away. Talk to your GP, a local addiction counsellor, a treatment centre, your local health board services.

It is important to bear in mind, as well, that information on the availability of illegal drugs should be given to the Garda, who have responsibility for curtailing supply and have considerable experience of dealing with issues relating to the use and supply of illegal substances.