He didn't pick that up from me. Did he?

I've recently started a self-development course. So far it's fascinating - we're discussing topics like what makes people tick, how we interact with one another, self-worth, self-esteem, our behaviour, personalities etc. However, it came as a shock to me to hear that a child's personality is formed by the age of five. Their personalities are developed by copying from the people around them, mostly their parents.

I thought of my seven-year-old son -an imp, at times a little Hitler, a saint and a rogue. Yet it frightened me to think this little head has his personality structured and developed already.

I suppose it frightened me mostly to think that, had I been more aware of this fact, I might have been more careful in my behaviour and treatment of him at an earlier age. Last Sunday, his grandfather was having lunch. Before he sat down, my sister moved his chair out of her way and told him not to sit for a minute. He misunderstood what she said and sat down - missing the chair and landing on the floor. Luckily he didn't hurt himself, but he got "a bit of a land".

He suddenly got mad. Jack, my son, started laughing, seeing the funny side to it, and asked his grandda: "What were you drinking before your lunch?" Jack couldn't stop laughing to see his grandda in this situation. Eventually, my dad too started laughing. Jack then said: "Lucky you have plenty of fat on your bum."

Allowing children to be children and encouraging them in a positive way was part of what I had taken away from my self-development lesson.

So that night I told Jack: "You're brilliant and I'd love you even if you weren't." "I knew that, Ma," he said, without a backward glance. No signs of lack of confidence there, I thought. A few nights later, he was giving me a good night hug and he said: "Ma, I love you so much if I didn't tell you I'd burst." We must be doing something right.