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Conor Pope stays at Ashford Castle in Co Mayo

Conor Popestays at Ashford Castle in Co Mayo

TO SAY I feel out of place as I pull into the car park at Ashford Castle and manoeuvre my car into a narrow space – very, very carefully in case I scratch one of the already parked Mercs or Maseratis – would be an understatement right up there with, “Hasn’t this recession dragged on a bit?”

There’s no sign of a recession here at all mind you, and one guest has even parked his helicopter on the lawn. I feel a stab of sadness as I realise that, unless I’m soon contacted by the widow of a deposed dictator with a cash-filled suitcase to dispose of, I’ll never park a helicopter outside this hotel.

The sadness is fleeting and when the staff greet me like an old friend – they greet all guests like old friends – and show me to my room, it is love at first sight. The room is spacious and opulently furnished and within seconds I am smitten.

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The three sash windows offer breathtaking views of Lough Corrib which sparkles in the evening sunlight. Also sparkling is the crystal decanter filled with complimentary sherry which sits on the carved antique table at the centre of the room. I pour a glass, gaze out over the lake and marvel at what is the most beautifully situated hotel in the country.

It is hard to avoid superlatives when talking about Ashford. The bed is fit for a king and leaving it is a wrench, the showers are ultra-modern and high powered, and the breakfast, in the oak-panelled George V dining room, might well be the finest I’ve ever had.

You can have your meal cooked to order, but given the quality of the buffet, it’s not worth the wait. The locally sourced rashers, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, breads, pastries, smoked salmon, juices – and the freshly cooked honey glazed ham – are flawless.

Ashford doesn’t get everything right, of course. While the children’s menu is free of the junk found in lesser establishments, what on earth is the hotel thinking serving the food on plates so hot they’re practically molten? Yes, warmed plates keep food warmer for longer but try telling a hungry two-year old to keep their hands off a red-hot plate until it cools and see how far you get.

Hot plates aside, the hotel is wonderfully child friendly – the babysitting service is excellent but expensive, and the special baby bathrobes, pink slippers and teddy bears left in kids’ rooms are very cute.

Lunch is, typically, served in the drawingroom and the service can be slow. Jackets and ties are required in the George V in the evenings, but once you accept the slower pace of the afternoon service and the evening formality, it’s not such a big problem.

Room service is more problematic. It is fast but hideously expensive – three sandwiches and a couple of soft drinks costs well in excess of €70, although if you’re worried about spending that much on a sarnie, then Ashford might not be the place for you.

Food and furnishings aside, it is the staff which makes this place so special. Every staff member I spoke to, from the porters and managers to the bar staff and chambermaids, were effortlessly friendly.

All whims, however capricious, are catered for. You want a buggy ride around the grounds? No problem? You want to visit the falconry on the grounds so birds of prey can eat raw meat off your hands? Of course. You need an umbrella or wellies? They’re in the entrance hall. Fancy a round of golf on the hotel’s nine-hole course? That can be accommodated.

Many hotels in such beautiful settings suffer a degree of remoteness, but not Ashford. Cong with its cosy pubs and Quiet Manconnections is on its doorstep.

Pulling out of the carpark 48 hours after I first arrived, I feel that familiar stab of sadness, but not because I’ll never have a helicopter to park on the castle lawn. It’s just that this is quite simply a beautiful place to stay and a hard one to leave. Mind you, the credit card bill has yet to arrive, and that could make me sadder still.

WhereAshford Castle, Cong, Co Mayo, 094-9546003, ashford.ie.

WhatFive-star castle dating back to 1228. Beloved of movie stars, presidents and royalty.

Rooms83 rooms including suites.

Best rates In summer, rooms cost from €350 a night to close to €1,000. Off-season prices can fall to less than €200.

Restaurants and barsTwo bars and a third one just outside the castle gates. Two restaurants. Food served in the drawingroom all day.

Child friendlinessCots, inter-connecting rooms and babysitting services are available.

AccessibilityA small number of rooms are wheelchair accessible.

AmenitiesGolf, fishing, falcons, boating.