A wedding that Costa lot less

'So we have one room for the bride..

'So we have one room for the bride . . . and one room for the bride's children," chuckled the concierge at the Alhaurin Golf Hotel, before he almost toppled off his swivel chair in merriment, writes Ailish Connelly

Fair enough, it's not every day the blushing bride (with all curious eyes upon me - at this stage I was a fetching purple), arrives for her wedding abroad, with three children in tow.

Both bride and groom having been married previously, we two delirious divorcees decided that this time it would be different.

And so Fergus and I chose the breezy July heat of the Sierra Mijas in southern Spain, over a soft day in Ireland. We opted for a Mayan marriage blessing, with a Celtic "handfasting" ceremonial nod to our roots, under an arch of palm trees. It was a beautiful, memorable day in the sunshine, with family and friends - which naturally extended into a long, festive weekend - and included a traditional, delicious six-course Spanish feast, wine, champagne and drinks for 40 people. And change from €5,000.

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Believe me, it can be done, and relatively simply too. It's no different from arranging a wedding in Ireland. Although it is helpful to have a wedding planner on the ground, who speaks the language and has good local knowledge, you can opt to arrange it yourself. Which is precisely what I did, with help from some friends.

After trawling the internet, I flew to Malaga in February to sort out the details. The Moorish town of Alhaurin El Grande, in the Sierra Mijas, is approximately 25km from Malaga airport, and therefore within easy reach for the guests, an important point to consider when planning a wedding abroad.

Having already chosen the charming Alhaurin Golf Hotel, a converted finca (farmhouse), on the basis of word of mouth and looking at the hotel's website, I then met the manager and went through every detail of my proposed itinerary. I had a chance to choose menus, taste wines, arrange times, book rooms, and a DJ, view the gardens where the ceremony was to be held, and get the feel of the place.

The venue for the ceremony will be dictated by your choice of service. If you want a Catholic ceremony in a church in Spain, you will need to get letters of freedom from your parish priest and they will be forwarded to the bishop of the diocese, in this case Malaga. Allow at least four months to get all the paperwork sorted. Once the wedding is over, the papers may be lodged with the civil registry in the area the marriage took place. Other religious ceremonies require a separate legal civil wedding. Civil ceremonies require residency status and for this reason most couples get legally married at home and then have their celebration in Spain.

Once you've set your date, send out your invitations. (I lured our guests with a colourful brochure-type invitation. They just couldn't say no.)

Friends and family may love you dearly, but a wedding invitation won't guarantee them flight and accommodation availability in high season. They need lots of notice, and time to book.

If marrying in Spain in the summer, choose the lightest dress possible. Traditional wedding dresses won't cut it in the heat - informal works well in sunshine. And forget about asking for presents. Guests are flying more than a thousand miles to join you for your special day. What better present could you get?

Mayan ceremony arranged by Alloa Patricia and Mikhail Baker of Maya Sun Serpent: 00-34-619-166728/00-34-650-883249, www.mayasunserpent.com.

Wedding planner: e-mail niki@yourweddinginspain.com.

www.alhauringolfresort.com.

www.andalucia.com/law/marriage