Life is Tweet in our baNama republic

It’s official – Twitter is the word the world used most in 2009. So where does that leave the staycationers and the funemployed?

WE COULD ALL think of a few words for 2009, and most of them would be unprintable. But which buzzwords and phrases would best sum up the year just gone?

Throughout the year, lexicographers, sociologists and marketing departments have been burning the midnight oil to come up with hybrid words that chime with our quickly changing times. Does recessionista still hold any currency in 2009? Has aporkalypse caught on, or is epigdemic more widespread? And has anybody seen these mythical green shoots anywhere, or were they just a figment of our fevered imagination?

The Global Language Monitor, based in Austin, Texas, has been tracking word use around the globe throughout the year, and has announced its choice for most-used word of 2009. No, it’s not Jedward – it’s “Twitter”. The social networking site that condenses all human interaction into 140 characters or less has been the word on everyone’s lips and fingertips – will Twitter still rule in 2010, or will another online trend sweep the world and consign tweets to the recycle bin?

Number two in the word hit parade, according to the Global Language Monitor, is “Obama”, often used as a prefix, for example Obamania or Mobama (nickname for the First Lady). In third place is “H1N1”, but who are they kidding? No one says H1N1 – we say swine flu, even though we know it’s politically incorrect.

Other popular words that reflect the times include “vampire” (one for the Twi-hards), “2.0” (will that make it to the next generation?) and, unsurprisingly, “unemployed”.

Most popular phrases include “King Of Pop” (a bit of a post-mortem PR coup there), that hardy perennial “Climate Change”, and the rather nebulous “Cloud Computing”.

There’s a buzzword to match every event, trend or idea in the world today, and if there isn’t, you can make one up yourself. For example, you might feel we’re living in a “baNama republic”. When you see people earning ridiculously high salaries, you might notice the return of an old feeling you last felt in the 1980s – that’s “regrudgery”. If you think the economy defies the laws of physics, turn on your TV and tune into the seemingly endless celebrity reality shows, or “Large Has-been Colliders”. And never mind swine flu – the country is currently braced for an outbreak of “Newryosis”, that guilty feeling you’re supposed to get when you abandon the poor, struggling Dublin retailers and go Christmas shopping in the North.

And so, here is 2009, in just 10 buzzwords. Beat that, Twitter.

STAYCATION

Many cash-strapped families have had to dump the sun brochures and look closer to home for their holiday fun. Then they see the prices of hotels in Ireland and decide to look no farther than home. Well, we’ve paid enough for our houses, we may as well spend some quality time in them.

RECESSIONISTA

When the going gets tough, the tough get sewing. Instead of giving all last season’s gear to Oxfam, recessionistas are opting to make do and mend. Old is the new new, and Penneys is the new Prada. It’s chiconomics, dahling.

CLOUD COMPUTING

Ancient tribes worshipped the sun – modern cybertribes bow before the Cloud, the magical conglomeration of net-based services that allow users to do everything online without having to load up on expensive and space-draining software.

OBITUTAINMENT

It was the comeback of the century – Michael Jackson’s record sales went through the roof, and crowds flocked to see his new film. Too bad Wacko had to die to achieve this Lazarus-like resurrection.

TWITTERRHEA

Miss your friends? You can follow them on Twitter. Miss your bus? You can follow it on Twitter. It seems that everybody – and every thing – is on Twitter, and the whole world knows what floor Stephen Fry is stuck on, and what Demi Moore thinks of Susan Boyle. Yes, life is tweet.

GREEN SHOOTS

In Knock, they were seeing apparitions. In Dáil Éireann, eyes were also playing tricks, as the corridors of power rang to the sounds of “I see them! Can you see them? There – behind you – just squint your eyes! Hallelujah!”

FUNEMPLOYMENT

You’re out of a job, so what do you do? Sit around being miserable and bemoaning your misfortune, or use the extra free time (and the redundancy money) to start enjoying life? Instead of wasting time updating their CV, many newly unemployed are engaging in leisure activities – walking, swimming, writing to The Irish Times, phoning Joe Duffy, throwing eggs at bank execs . . .

SEXTING

Before you hit that send button, do you really want a picture of your bottom to top Google’s search list? Sexting is sending naughty messages or pictures via your mobile – not the cleverest thing if you want to keep your sex life a secret, totally dumb if you are a celebrity.

GOD PARTICLE

It was talked about in 2008, but returned in 2009, reminding us that the supreme being is not actually a bearded old man but a sub-atomic particle – the Higgs boson. Scientists hope to prove its existence using the Large Hadron Collider at CERN – if they can get the thing working properly.

IPOD ZOMBIE

They move around the city like the undead, wired up to their personal devices, oblivious to oncoming vehicles or pianos about to fall on their heads. Here’s one sad victim’s final tweet: “Rocking out to new XX album – totally killer – you gotta play it loud and – aaaaarrrgghhh!!!”