Do you, like, totally want chips with your rice going forward?

They may be annoying, but cliches, platitudes and management speak will be around as long as we continue to use them

CLICHES, PLATITUDES and hackneyed words – they are the instant noodles of everyday language: bland, readily available and requiring the minimum of effort. We use them out of laziness, an easy shorthand when we can’t be bothered to engage our brains. But their very ubiquity means that, to many, they have become a serious irritant. A recent US poll showed that “whatever” was considered the most annoying word or phrase, followed by “you know”, the tautological “it is what it is” and, perhaps inevitably, the footballer’s favourite, “at the end of the day”. The latter topped a similar list by researchers at Oxford University, alongside “fairly unique” (a rather inelegant oxymoron) – and another tautology, “I personally”, which Radio 4 presenter John Humphrys described as “the linguistic equivalent of having chips with rice”.

It seems that every time such polls are published, people rush to share their own conversational peeves. Many agree that “whatever” is especially annoying because it’s such a brush-off. Like that other grunt of indifference, “meh”, it works as a verbal shrug of the shoulders: off-hand, curt and dismissive. It’s the one-word equivalent of “don’t get your knickers in a twist”. But over-enthusiasm is equally despised, it seems. A number of people are dismayed by the over-use of words such as “absolutely” – especially when it comes with vigorous nodding of the head – and the equally effervescent “awesome”. Hyped-up media phrases such as “that’s a big ask” or “a perfect storm” fall into the same category. Childish, ungrammatical utterances, especially the modern mea culpa, “my bad”, rile many. The improper use of “literally” – as in “the Pixies’ gig was so loud my ears literally exploded” – is another major irritant, as is the misuse of “ironically”. And “it’s not rocket science” is annoying both because it’s grossly over-used and because it implies you’re a bit slow to catch on. Glib, smug and patronising – it’s not surprising we find that one irritating.

Meanwhile, others have rather more idiosyncratic gripes, such as the people who find the term “panini sandwich” an outrageously superfluous term.

Where do these phrases come from? Corporate jargon is one main source, responsible for the likes of “synergy”, “24/7”, “paradigm shift”, “going forward” and, of course, “think outside the box”. Supposedly intended to be motivational, they often have the opposite effect, standing in for real ideas and grating on weary employees’ ears. Jaded staff can get their own back by visiting the Bullshit Bingo website and printing out cards marked with gems like “heads up” “non-traditional management” and “search engine optimisation”, which they can then tick off as each one is mentioned in boring meetings.

The internet, too, has generated many cumbersome cliches, like “netiquette” and “blogosphere”. But many of our most hated words and phrases appear to be American in origin. Liberally spraying around the words “like” and “all” – as in “I’m like, ‘Are you serious?’ And she’s all ‘Totally!’ So I’m like, ‘No way!’ And she’s all ‘Yes, way!” – is an especially infectious, and distinctively American, habit.

Most people agree that cliches are stupid, crass or lazy. But the reason they continue to exist is because we continue to (over)use them. Sometimes only chips and rice will do.