And you thought Porsche was fast? Well, dream on, pal, and get yourself (and a bag of money) to Ruf, car maker supreme . . .
At a glance this car looks like a Porsche 911 Turbo, one of the finest cars the modern world has to offer. It isn't - it's a Ruf RTurbo that costs twice as much, and would leave Stuttgart's finest spluttering in a fast-fading cloud of burnt Super Plus.
Even those too young to drive legally have heard of Ruf, pronounced "Roof". That's thanks to a heritage that stretches back to the 1930s and, more pertinently, the German company's presence in the hugely popular Gran Turismo games.
Unlike the companies dotted all over Europe that tweak cars, Ruf is a fully-fledged manufacturer. So while it starts out as a Porsche and looks like one to the untrained eye, this car is rebuilt from a bare shell and comes with Ruf registration documents, a new badge, 590bhp and a €226,000 price tag in Germany (about twice that here).
Cars that cost the same as a house need to be more than special. At this level, numbers like 3.7 seconds for the 0-60 mph dash and a top end speed of 220 mph are mighty impressive, but they're not enough. There needs to be a USP, a reason to buy beyond the fact that it'll rearrange your organs and deliver them into the next county faster than an air ambulance - it needs to do it in style.
Ruf's flagship creation does just that, with a subtle exterior, a comfortable ride and even an element of safety, relative though that term may be at 200 mph+, by retaining Porsche's intelligent four-wheel-drive system that feeds power to the front wheels when the rears start to slip.
Most supercars are rear-wheel-drive, and purists argue that they are more involving. But packaging and attitudes have moved on, and four-wheel-drive is always a better option for real world conditions, a point proved by one journalist who tested the RTurbo in a blizzard.
It makes the car easy to drive at low speeds, and manageable at ridiculously high velocity. In a car this quick anything that helps apply the power isn't a soft option, it's common sense and forms part of this particular machine's majesty.
I turned up at Ruf's base in the implausibly named town of Pfaffenhausen, near Munich, expecting to learn from designated driving instructor for the day, Josef Lieb. But there was nothing to teach. This car is fingertip light, pulls cleanly from just over 1,000 revs in any gear, and homes in on the 200 mph mark like a missile.
Within three miles I was deep into three figures and heading for the terminal velocity, so a light warm-up in this car would secure a slot on the evening news over here.
Short-shifting is a necessity on anything other than deserted autobahns, as above 3,500 rpm the turbos kick in, the afterburners light up and the RTurbo takes off, thanks to 612lb-ft of torque coursing through its veins and the constant traction.
There are no official figures for in-gear acceleration: beyond a certain point they become superfluous, and suffice to say it will take the fight to anything with four wheels.
The 3.6-litre engine has larger twin-turbo chargers, revised camshafts, a modified VarioCam system, remapped control unit, intake manifold, air filter and other items.
To cope with the extra power, Ruf has fitted titanium conrods, too, which necessitate a full engine rebuild and add €25,000 over the price of their lesser conversions. A strengthened GT2 clutch handles the torque, and Ruf has had to fit a longer sixth gear to accommodate the biblical top end speed.
Even more impressive than its straightline speed is the way this car takes corners. Ruf has fitted a fully adjustable race-style suspension kit, braces for the struts and, most importantly, an optional rollcage. Combined with the obvious advantages of four-wheel-drive, they come together to provide mountain goat levels of grip and complete stability under braking.
Six-piston callipers of Ruf's own design clamp down on Porsche's now legendary ceramic brake discs that have yet to be bettered by the aftermarket suppliers. The only problem is that the confidence the car inspires leads to crazy driving on a daily basis and, when we visited the factory, another customer had brought his car back to have all four cracked discs replaced after not too many miles. He wasn't arguing about the warranty, he was proud of his achievement.
The RTurbo's true skills were even more apparent when I tried to follow Josef in a Porsche 911 Turbo S. This car has 450bhp and, GT2 aside, is the biggest gun in Porsche's arsenal, but against its outwardly similar cousin it felt like attacking a nuclear bunker with a catapult.
I lifted and locked wheels under heavy braking, snaked out of slower bends and prayed to the gods of grip to keep me safe through fast sweepers. Josef wasn't pushing at all, and he still cantered into the distance - this compliance is the root of its immense speed.
This car is so user-friendly, even when it comes to soaking up bumps, that it serves as a track car, ballistic weekend toy and daily driver with equal skill. Lots of tuners have learnt to force-feed the Porsche with steroids, but they all work by moving further along the axis between practicality and performance, sacrificing ease of use and comfort for speed.
Ruf works on a higher plane, delivering mind-blowing performance in an almost cosy package, and therein lies the magic of the RTurbo.
Quite how I'd feel about leaving almost quarter of a million euro of metal in the multi-storey carpark while I went shopping is another matter, but it could certainly handle trundling round town with levels of comfort approaching the exemplary levels of any high-end Porsche.
Of course it's louder. The engorged quad exhausts rumble and shake at idle like Mount Vesuvius building up to a major blow-out. And there are other external differences, which are small yet effective.
The subtly revised rear wing generates more downforce when down at heel than my Turbos did fully raised, and Ruf uses a one-piece front spoiler with integral air intakes. Other aerodynamic effects include smaller wing mirrors and the triangular cooling cut-outs set high on the flanks that add to the rear-end downforce and brake cooling.
It's function first with Ruf, they're not really interested in cosmetic jewellery bar the 19" wheels and a few branded baubles on the interior.
It's a sleeper, to use an insider phrase, and it's easy to imagine some poor sap in another Porsche or Ferrari 360 having a go before realising, patently, that his car is not hard enough. Very few would be, not that this would be any consolation as they breathed in those fading petrol vapours.