My Bike and I

Niamh G Ahern , TV producer, RTÉ

Niamh G Ahern, TV producer, RTÉ

Your bike?: A Vespa ET2

Why this particular scooter? To be perfectly honest, it was the only Vespa I sat on that allowed my feet to touch the ground. Not very biker-chick of me, I know, but at 5'6" one has to be practical. It's touch-and-go as it is, but I find wearing heels helps. My bike is called Lorenzo, a nice dark Italian.

Why two rather than four wheels? I've been a veteran of two wheels for many years, but mostly of the non-motorised variety. But, if you think it's crazy to drive a motorcycle in Dublin, it's seriously mental to ride a bicycle in this town. So, after a couple of brushes with the tarmac, I decided to add an engine.

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Do you have a full or provisional licence for your scooter? Full, fourth time lucky.

Would you make any changes to the test? Everyone should do their car test with all the car doors open, no seat-belt and legs hanging out over the road, to give them a fuller understanding of how vulnerable you feel on a bike.

Do you drive a car? Nope. Unfortunately, I may succumb soon - the thought of a protective layer of steel is becoming more and more attractive. I'm reluctant to join the four-wheelers, but the risks of the bike might push me over to the Dark Side.

Do you worry about your survival? Yes. I often start my journey with the face of my helmet open, pretending that I'm cruising through the Avenidas of Barcelona. Usually, after 30 seconds, I think: what am I doing! I like my life! Slam! Down goes the front of the helmet.

Any family resistance to you riding a scooter? My husband helped me to pick this one. He definitely worries, especially when my footwear fails his health-and-safety checklist. However, I've been known to deliver him pizza and Chinese - and he doesn't have to tip me.

What do you use your scooter for? Smithfield to Donnybrook return, five days a week. Rarely anywhere else. I once went as far as Bray but, at 20mph, I needed to stop twice for tea and sandwiches.

Any issues for the Minister for Transport? I have no issues with the Minister for Transport, but I'd have a few things to say to Minister McDowell about the legislation dealing with vandalism and criminal damage by minors. Scooters especially are prime targets for a lot of youthful demolition work and it's very difficult to prosecute the mostly juvenile perpetrators, even when you know who they are.

Any tips for survival on two wheels? Speed kills. I stick to a strict 30kph at all times, no matter what noises the cars behind me make. I also maintain a position right in the middle of the road, except of course when it suits me to sneak up the side of a lane full of traffic. I never ever cross that white line in the middle - I for one hate to see something coming towards me on my side of the road. I yield to a car only for safety reasons - my rule of thumb is: hey, I'm smaller, you can wait.