A landlord's life

God, but doesn't this Celtic Tiger stuff bore you, especially when everyone is claiming credit. One cynical economist (are there any other kind?) says most of the boom is down to two major events, which coalesced and had consequences of two plus two making about 2,002 . . .

One: currency devaluation of around 1994, via one finance minister known as Bertie. Southern Irish exports became massively cheaper for foreign buyers, which put factories on double shifts and lasted sufficiently long to soak up the available unemployed, incurring a serious demand for more labour.

Two: massive inward migration of workers from former Soviet satellites, following the collapse of Communism in 1991/'92.

Hey Presto! Dem two tings happened and synergised a small island off the coast of Europe and made the place rock like it had never rocked before. Those cumulative effects, incidentally, were not predicted by most economists.

The rest is history, with property booms dependent on immigrant labour, and partly - again - on supplying those very immigrants with places to stay, eat and educate, to buy cars and own houses.

And so on, in a relentless drive through the promised land of Blanchardstown. Certainly, the "rising tide that lifts all boats" has cast much of the population on an upsurge of changed lifestyles, from weekend breaks (spa for her and buy property for him) to personal indulgence that is performing some kind of national therapy upon inherited inferiority "towards the Brits" and reducing the innate personal grievances which psychologists tell us has its roots in the Famine.

None of that formidable list however - and whatever you're having yourself - did much for energy costs, as we all know painfully this week. Electricity has increased by around 120 per cent since 1992, the beginning of the boom. Given increased demand and a population swell, one might have expected a fall in price.

But this is Ireland, where the price of electricity is about 50 per cent higher than most European countries. Where, to be polite, unions take pleasure in squeezing a government crotch at the slightest whimper that "productivity agreements" might smack of extortion by employees.

Gas prices will be also hiked up 34 per cent this month, as compared to last month. Landlords, too, will feel it, when the bills come flopping on halls and doormats of properties. There will be tenant resistance to rent increases, however valid.

Property investors will feel the hike in another, crucial way.

One industry estimate put the increased energy costs as equivalent to another percentage point on borrowing for property investment.

What can be done? Stand by for all the usual guff from the ESB about insulation and double-glazing and switching off socket switches.

Goodnight now, dear, did you plug out the telly and the cooker and the kettle? And the fridge?

No, dear, not the fridge, we'll be swimming in the kitchen in the morning.

One reason I'm going gently barmy with all this predictable advice is that the UK electrical utilities have been advising consumers for years that socket switches left on waste about 20 per cent of electricity.

But our dear protected ESB has only in recent months spent enough money to inform its consumers of similar savings.

Another reason I'm going daft is, as any landlord will tell you who has immigrant tenants, they seemed to live so much in the dark.

Switch on the light as you enter and they switch it off again as you leave. Now I know it's us natives who have been living in the dark.

The immigrants knew before we did, that ESB have been quietly screwing us for years .