‘All I wanted was for this Alien to be taken out of me’

Sandra Kavanagh is a survivor. Just 43 years old, she has already had cancer twice in her life. The Kilkenny woman found a lump in her right breast when she was 38, and after ignoring it for several months, finally made the decision to go to her GP.

As she wasn’t considered to be in an “at risk” age bracket, the sales administrator was told it wasn’t likely to be anything serious, but, if she wanted to get it checked out, just in case, an examination could be arranged.

“After leaving the lump for months, I was at a wedding abroad in July 2012 when suddenly I had this instinct that there was something seriously wrong,” says Sandra. “I went to my GP who thought it was probably just a cyst or something hormone related, but sent me for tests just to be sure.

“I had a triple assessment (mammogram, ultra sound and biopsy) and waited for what seemed like an eternity for the results. I really didn’t think it was anything serious, but when I was finally called in to see the consultant to get the results and he asked if I had someone with me, I know the news wasn’t going to be good.”

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In August, 2012, Sandra was told she had triple negative breast cancer (the three most common types of receptors known to fuel most breast cancer growth – oestrogen, progesterone, and HER-2/neu gene – were not present).

“After that bombshell, I didn’t hear anything else,” she recalls. “I was crying my eyes out saying, ‘I don’t want to die’, and while the doctor couldn’t reassure me that I wasn’t going to die, said they would do everything possible for me. I had to have a mastectomy and chemotherapy, as triple negative breast cancer is hard to treat because it would not respond to hormonal type treatment. But all I wanted was for this ‘Alien’ to be taken out of me and I didn’t care by what means.”

Two weeks later, Sandra had her right breast removed and was scheduled for chemotherapy. But because she and her husband hadn’t started a family, she was advised to seek advice from a fertility expert.

"Before I started chemotherapy an appointment was made for me at the Hari Unit in Dublin as I was told that the treatment might make me infertile, so I would have to have my eggs or embryos frozen so they could be used after all treatment was finished," she says. "So, two weeks after my breast surgery I was facing into IVF treatment.

“But bad and all as the operation and IVF was, chemo hit me with the biggest slap in the face. I was prescribed four rounds and felt very ill both physically and emotionally. All I can remember is the horrific bone pain, the extreme tiredness and most of all the hair loss, which probably sounds vain, but it was so upsetting.

"Family and friends helped me through it all and, after four months, I was done with the toxic poison and it was time to start living again. As a Christmas present, my family gave my husband and I a holiday voucher so we went to Nashville and Memphis for the holiday of a lifetime. In the months that followed, I began to feel much better and even got rid of the wig – life was looking up."

However, not long afterwards, Sandra’s newfound happiness took a downturn and her life, once again, began to spiral out of control.

“In August, 2013, my husband announced that he was leaving me,” she says. “Initially, I blamed myself for having cancer and being ugly with only one breast and a boyish haircut and thought the trauma of me being sick made it hard for him to cope. But that was the lowest point of my life – I couldn’t sleep or eat and spent most nights crying. I put on a brave face for my family and friends, but inside I was torn apart; I was living in fear of cancer and trying to hold down my job to pay all the bills – but it didn’t end there.

“Later that month, I felt a lump right at on the scar line where I had my mastectomy. It was thought to be scar tissue, but, because of my history, I had to have it tested. And as I walked into the hospital again I felt sick and so worried that I was going to have to go through it again – alone.”

The fear of cancer returning haunts me and sometimes I can't sleep at night

Sandra had an ultrasound and biopsy and then, after an agonising wait for results, was told the cancer had returned along the scar line of her mastectomy.

She was devastated.

“I could not believe that I was being told I had cancer again, on top of everything I had been through and so soon after I had recovered,” she says. “My dad and my sister were amazing and really helped me to face up to it and recover afterwards. The cancer was localised this time, so I just needed a lumpectomy followed by radiation and another programme of chemotherapy.

“I started a six-week programme of radiation and joined a courtesy bus which took cancer patients for their treatment. This became one of the best experiences of my life and over the six weeks we laughed, we cried, told jokes, sang and even danced. These people have become my forever friends and we are still in contact – all but one who sadly passed away last year but his lovely soft voice and gentle nature will remain forever in my heart.”

Ahead of Daffodil Day on Friday (March 23rd), the Irish Cancer Society has urged people to be on the lookout for symptoms and help to raise both awareness and funds for the many thousands of people who are currently battling the disease in Ireland.

Following the radiation, Sandra went through another bout of chemotherapy but this time was more prepared and better able to cope with the side effects.

Today, she is stronger and more positive about the future.

“Those few years were horrendous, but I will be forever grateful to my wonderful family, my friends, workmates, doctors, nurses and counsellors who took such good care of me during a time I thought would never end,” she says.

“The fear of cancer returning haunts me and sometimes I can’t sleep at night. It has left me scarred physically and emotionally as well as unable to have children but I am five years in full remission and doing great. I met a wonderful person who is now my partner and I am now very healthy and happy.

“So I would say to anyone struggling mentally or physically with cancer, be kind to yourself, rid yourself of unnecessary stress and people who bring you down – but most of all never give up, life is precious and so very short.”