Thirty-three years after our student summer, Fiona and I still live in Boston. Her MS lives with us

Alexander White grew up in Blackrock in south Co Dublin and went to medical school at Trinity College Dublin, graduating in 1982. He married Fiona, who was also at TCD, and in 1987 they moved to the United States for two years with their newborn son, Ruairi. They live in Newton, Massachusetts, just outside Boston, and Alex works at Cambridge Health Alliance. Ruairi is now married and lives in Connecticut with his wife and daughter; Alexander and Fiona's daughter, Julie, is in her final year of vet school at University of California, Davis

If you had said to me in 1987 that in 2021 we would be still living in Boston I would have laughed. Back then, five years out of TCD medical school, my goal was to get trained and back home to Ireland as soon as possible, maybe as a county physician. My partner, Fiona, was a reluctant participant in this American trip, driven by the arrival of our son, Ruairi, eight months before we left and also by the arrival of a very unwelcome visitor in the form of optic neuritis, which we both knew was a manifestation of multiple sclerosis.

After some intense and heated negotiation in our rented house in Rathgar, we agreed on a two- or three-year stint. Boston provided us with training jobs: I was doing pulmonary and critical care at Tufts Medical Center, and Fiona doing pathology at Massachusetts General Hospital. Our J-1 visas ensured we would be back. The great plan was starting to unfold.

Our parents were bereft without their only grandchild. As a doting grandparent of two -year-old Saoirse, I can imagine the void we created in their lives. Grandchildren are very special

We left on a bright June day in 1987, on an Aer Lingus jumbo filled with young people like us. Our parents, at the airport, were bereft without their only grandchild. As a doting grandparent of two-year-old Saoirse now, I can imagine the void we created in their lives. Grandchildren are very special.

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Boston was a big challenge to us as a young emigrant family. Medical training is demanding: long hours, very sick patients, high expectations, lots to learn. Childcare needed to be figured out, and finding a place to live was not easy in the late 1980s. Boston was booming. And, yes, you still had to show up at work and figure out daycare when it snowed. We missed having any family around as back-up.

My life was filled with managing patients with lung disease, many of whom had HIV. That epidemic was raging; the antiviral agents were yet to come. Fiona thrived at Massachusetts General Hospital as a pathology resident. Each busy day one of us would leave to pick up Ruairi from Astrid, our fabulous and patient Armenian daycare provider.

We had trained in Dublin for five years after we graduated. As junior hospital doctors, the Dublin training was less structured, but like others we garnered great clinical skills, a thirst to learn and a resilience to push through hard times. In Boston we published and did what research came our way always with an eye on a job at home.

Like others we had applied for Donnelly visas. In June 1989 we went back to Dublin for our interview at the US embassy, unsure of the future. But they just handed us green cards and cancelled our J-1s. Now, watching what is going on at the southern US border and in Kabul, I am reminded what an easy, privileged emigration path we were given.

And so we stayed. Just a few more years, we told ourselves. I kept renewing my Irish passport and gave as many medical talks at home as I could, to stay known. Meanwhile, our son became a Bostonian, we adopted our daughter, Julie, from Korea, and the roots went deeper every year.

MS is a cruel thief. Fiona can no longer work and needs help at home from some wonderful fellow immigrants. Most of the time the MS monster behaves; when he acts out we beat him back with whatever pharma has to offer

Then Fiona’s MS came back in earnest and set up shop in our home. MS is a cruel thief and has stolen a lot from her. She can no longer work and needs help at home from some wonderful fellow immigrants. Most of the time the MS monster behaves; when he acts out we beat him back with whatever pharma has to offer.

The Cambridge Health Alliance, which serves a safety-net population in the Boston area, was badly hit with Covid. My group were on the front lines. The ICUs were filled with sick and dying patients. We worked long hours intubating, placing lines, managing ventilators and helping those we could not save die with dignity. I ended up in septic shock in a bed at the hospital, where they pieced me back together. It was interesting being on the other side!

The Boston community has been kind and generous to our family. We have had great jobs, and our children got a wonderful education. Our family has expanded. Ruairi served in the US coastguard, having attending the coastguard academy, and then went on to Tufts vet school. He lives with his wife, Kelsey, in Connecticut with Saoirse. Julie is finishing vet school also, but in California, and is engaged to Tommy, who is in the US army.

I always miss Ireland and owe an educational debt that I can never repay. We were set up to succeed. I am all too aware of that privilege and give back what I can. Thankfully it is a short flight "home". Wherever home is.

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