Frock advisor: tango-tastic and artfully clumpy

I've noticed that a lot of high fashion is incorporating ugly shoes, how does one work such a look?
You're spot on, you fashion super sleuth. The ugly shoes have roared out of the traps as an antidote to bunion-inducing platform courts and our obsession with sex in its most blatant incarnation.

Of course the clue is in your question; this is a high fashion movement. High fashion and real life are like oil and water, they never mix, but when forced, there is a point at which they kiss. That point is normally populated by the very young or the very fashionable, and they are donning ugly shoes

in their droves.

So what is an ugly shoe, it’s essentially flat and clumpy, anything from a Birkenstock to a flat platform sandal to a trainer (which incidentally sashayed down the recent Chanel couture catwalk). It’s the souped-up Scholl, it’s the corrective shoe, it’s the pool slider, it’s the Jesus sandal.

And if the very word sandal brings to mind badly dressed dads with pasty legs on foreign holidays, then brace yourself, the avant-garde are going full socks and sandals combo, an option that we do not recommend for mere mortals.

None of this sounds very sexy. And that’s exactly the point. Asos and Topshop have reported a 60 per cent increase in sales of ugly shoes, so the street has decided that comfort is the way forward, although frockadvisor has an inkling that comfort is probably just a very welcome side effect of the new cool.

So, just imagine that you are ready to go ugly, go early – how exactly does one construct the look? These shoes reek of newness and freedom from the ravages of sexiness. See River Island’s collection of clumpiness. They allow you to be really rather sexy in the rest of your look without seeming over-baked. In real terms this means anything from a billowing chiffon tea dress with a deep swathe of décolletage, to a softly structured trouser suit with a peek of lingerie.

One thing noticeable by the attendant fashion pack at the Chanel Couture presentation was the air of fun and levity as the girls sprang down the catwalk in their trainers. Fun, levity and comfortable shoes - an unlikely, but very nice trinity.

I really fancy a pop of hot colour in my wardrobe; can you suggest an alternative to pink?
On close inspection of the available options, if a pop of colour is your thing, then congratulations, Spring Summer 2014 is a veritable Candy Crush. As Pantone decreed Radiant Orchid the colour of the season, pink is indeed everywhere.

The leaders among us, of which you are obviously one, are already sniffing around for a new high. Close your eyes and transport yourself back to your childhood, buoyant happy days with tantalising treats of fizzy cola lollies and Jaffa Cakes (full moon, ’alf moon, total eclipse!) and delicious cosseted sick days lubricated by Lucozade. I’m talking orange, of course, bright happy, sunny, unremorseful orange. It’s been a while since we’ve felt this way about this children’s television presenter of a colour, but trust us, this time it’s good.

Orange is as good on milky white skin as it is on the darkest ebony. The perfectly formed orange cardigan by Just In Case from Elaine Curtis is a perfect example. If the full slash is too much for you, a punch of print, By Malene Birger at Ellen B in Clontarf and Malahide, offers the alternative.

Surprisingly, where orange can really pack a punch is as a lip shade, fresher than a red and more sophisticated than a pink. We have found that orange is best countered with a darker neutral, suggestions include burgundy, navy and grey. We would strongly caution against black as the risk of looking like a Halloween bee is just too great. Brown is an absolute no-no, as once again you’re back in the world of the Jaffa Cake, and yes, the Total Eclipse ad is on YouTube and your children will howl laughing.

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[ frockadvisor.com ]

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