Tweenie tips: what parents can do

Offer appropriate choices so they can identify their likes and dislikes and increase their self-knowledge.

Managing a choice means that the adult decides which options a child can choose between, making sure that whatever the choice, it can be followed through without a problem.

Describe what it is we like and admire about them and what they are good at.

Tell stories about the family: when we were children and when they were babies, about aunts, uncles for example, to connect them to a common, family past.

Fully support their school or teacher: split loyalties can undermine the benefits of "belonging" to other groups and institutions.

Keep promises to prove our respect and help them to feel important to us.

Let them be a source of authority to themselves - who they want to play with, how they want to spend their time, how hungry or cold they are, how they best approach their homework.

Be aware of the pressures tweenies face and take the pressure off whenever possible.