Ten Things I Hate About . . . Flying

1. Aeroflot. Nothing you hear has been exaggerated. Since flying with them to Kathmandu, my flying nerve has gone AWOL, lost forever somewhere over Asia.

2. No matter how early you book, the best deals are always gone.

3. Heathrow Airport's rat-run for Irish connections. Suitable only for those in committed training for the marathon.

4. The way Aer Lingus is too scared to give you peanuts anymore in case you croak in mid-air.

5. The punctilious way the pilot cheerfully reminds you what height you're cruising at, and which country you're currently suspended over, thus ruining any pretence with yourself that you're actually on a bus.

6. The way the chefs got stuck on a loop years ago with nouvelle cuisine.

7. Turbulence. For obvious reasons.

8. Taking off . . .

9. . . . getting there . . .

10. . . . and landing.