Stefanie Preissner: ‘I’m good at nitpicking other people’s relationships’

Favourite actor?

Hannah Sheehan played Aisling's sister in the first of Can't Cope, Won't Cope, the RTÉ series I wrote. She's back in season two and she's definitely one to watch. She's witty, charming and brilliant and has brains – she even took a year out of her physiotherapy degree to film the second season of the show. If that's not what commitment looks like …

Podcast

In the book I talk about Rachel, my friend who is almost a sister. She lives in New York and a large part of our connection is fortified by our shared love of analysing other people. One of the things we do to get our psychoanalyst juices flowing is listen to a podcast called Dear Prudence, where people write in with their problems and then Prudence gives them advice. We each listen in our own time zones and then confer over remote coffees about the terrible problem (or the advice). We spend hours playing out how we would live other people's lives differently. We're really good at nitpicking other people's relationships, but we're well aware it's a replacement activity for looking at our own shit.

City

Dublin. Dublin. Dublin. I love being able to get everywhere on foot and the ease of the city. It’s like a massive village. I know it. I can depend on it to provide me with what I need on a daily basis. I know what shops are open when, where to get everything I need. I grew up in Cork but I see Dublin as my home. I rent in Dublin 7 and love the neighbourhood feel of it – the Two Boys Brew coffee shop, the friendly faces in Tesco and my secret writing hideout, the Mater hospital coffee shop. The only thing that would make Dublin absolutely perfect for me is if it would sort out its house prices.

Restaurant

I don’t really like dining at tables with tablecloths where you have to be super polite and negotiate with several knives and forks. If I have to have a lunch meeting, I always schedule it to be in Sprout salad bar on Dawson Street. I eat there at least four times a week and have a loyalty card on the go. The staff are so friendly and know me by my order – “Paprika Chica with some adjustments”. Talk about notions.

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Social media

I love Twitter. I only follow people I find interesting, or at least challenging in a way that's helpful to me. The Minister of Finance, Paschal Donohoe (@paschald), is a favourite – I think the way he navigates his political life by being human, funny and empathetic is brilliant. But Instagram is my number one. There's no drama on Instagram, people are there to spread love and memes. I particularly like @mytherapistsays.

Gadget

I walk 10,000 steps a day, and have done since I got my FitBit Charge HR in 2015. I love it because it motivates me to hit targets. Because my job as a writer is so sedentary, I am pretty intense about getting exercise. It makes me walk twice around shopping centres when it’s raining, or I take multiple trips to the sauce station at Nando’s, and bring my fork and knife to the table on separate journeys.

Venue

Pavilion Arts Centre in Dún Laoghaire. They have a brilliant theatre and arts programme and a committed and steady audience who appreciate the value of the arts. It’s my go-to place if I’m looking for theatre. It’s also nice to make an evening of it and head away from the city, get dinner and see a show.

Theatre show

The Humours of Bandon. I'm a little biased because I directed it last year but I can't take any credit for all the success Mags McAuliffe has been enjoying with this show. It's touring internationally and winning awards as people have fallen in love with the character of Annie, a young girl obsessed with being an Irish dancing champion until she gets a rude awakening about making her passion into her career.

Why Can’t Everything Just Stay the Same? And Other Things I Shout When I Can’t Cope by Stefanie Preissner is out now