"I wish I was from Sneem" - the impossible dream

I GREW UP wishing I would be a cartoonist one day. It seemed unattainable; there are so few of them. But I knew that, theoretically, it was possible.

I have a stranger wish now, one that's theoretically impossible.

I wish I was from Sneem.

Frankly, even though I've hitch hiked around Ireland a couple of times, I don't know a lot about Sneem. But what a fantastic name! I could boast of my Sneemian work ethic or, when someone stopped to help me pick up the groceries I'd spilled, I could think, "Isn't that just like a Sneemian. . ." I imagine the best way to prepare a roast is. Sneemish, and the best sweaters are made of Sneem wool. And if Sneem had a basketball team in the Olympics, they would be the Sneem Team.

But that wish can never come true.

However, my first wish, my cartooning career, actually does have its roots in Ireland. In 1985, while on an exchange programme from Eastern Michigan University to Bulmershe College in Reading, England, my roommate, Martin, and I decided to hike through Ireland in search of his ancestral home in Roscommon.

We both liked to draw, and on the ferry from Liverpool to Dublin, we whiled away the hours taking turns drawing one cartoon character (he'd draw the eyes, I'd draw the mouth, etc). We found ourselves enjoying this so much, we spent most of the rest of our spare time (usually after a pint or two of Guinnes) drawing cartoons.

By the time we got back from our trip, we had a book full of these things (although we never managed to find his ancestral home), and weren't ready to quit; we immediately began drawing separate cartoon strips for Eastern's school paper. Alter graduation, Martin went to law school, but I was hooked. I went on to get my Master's degree in Creative Writing at Indiana University, but my years there were more an excuse to keep drawing cartoons for a paper.

At one point, between years of grad school, I quit to become an art director for an advertising firm and to marry Chris. Fortunately, the job didn't last and the marriage has.

After that degree, I just kept drawing (read: Sponging off Chris's Good Job), doing single panel cartoons for magazines such as Esquire and Saturday Evening Post, and political cartoons for the local paper in Bloomington, Indiana, which were occasionally reprinted in Newsweek, the New York Times and Washington Post. Still, my dream at that time (becoming an honorary citizen of Sneem notwithstanding) was to be syndicated.

In the fall of 1993, just when things were looking quite bleak and I was seriously considering an offer to be Madonna's personal trainer, Creators Syndicate offered me a contract. Madonna was crushed (and really, her body tone never did reach its full potential), but I jumped at it. At that time my cartoon panel was nameless (unless you count what a few readers called it, which can't be reprinted in this nice, family publication). I put together a list of about a dozen names, from which "Speed Bump" was chosen unanimously by the Creators staff. My personal favourite was "The Wide World of Stretch Pants," but it was nixed. I guess "Speed Bump" is supposed to make you think, as you're scanning the page, "Slow Down for This One". But, if you're like me, you'll probably just think, "I'm Gonna Spill My Damn Coffee".

"Speed Bump" began running in April, 1994, in just a handful of papers. It's now in 200 papers, has been picked up by American Greetings for a line of greeting cards and calendars, and last year won the Reuben Award for Best Cartoon Panel, given by the National Cartoonists' Society.

Also, it slices and dices, makes hard to remove strains disappear, and if you rub it on your receding hairline, your hair will return.

I'VE slept in a parking lot outside the Guinness Brewery in Dublin. I've ridden a bike from Galway to a tiny pub in Connemara where I watched Johnny Logan win the Eurovision title. And I've been treated to a three Guinness lunch at Harry's Roadhouse by a great guy who didn't know he'd picked up a couple of hitchers who hadn't eaten in two days. But having my work published here is an experience that tops them all.

Chris and I, and our daughter Alayna live in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Feel free to e mail me with comments or suggestions at: Speedbump.cis.compuserve.com or write to me at Creators Syndicate. 5777W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045, USA.

Meanwhile, I'll be making travel plans to a small town south west of Dublin ...