Holiday Package

Destination '98 Legoland.

Why? Have you been there before? Yes, but it's always different.

Travel companions? My girlfriend Sandra, our son Daniel and his imaginary friend "Jub Jub".

Any special pre-holiday purchases? A parachute.

Who packs your bags? A terrorist.

Three things you won't travel without? A car, a plane or a train.

One thing you always forget? Can't remember.

What books are you planning to take? Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins, Alive by Piers Paul Read, and Simple Recipes To Cook Your Friends After An Aircrash by Hannibal Lector.

Favourite aspect of holidays? Spending £10 on a coffee in the airport cafeteria.

Pet holiday hate? Gerbils.

What do you bring for emergencies? An ambulance.

Your best holiday ever? My best friend Paul went on holiday to Greece and left me his mobile phone.

Your worst holiday ever? A survival weekend in Bray.

Best thing about coming home? Feeding the cat (he's always so grateful).

Worst thing about coming home? Opening the fridge and finding the cat.

In conversation with Sarah Marriott

Joe Rooney, who played Father "Damo" in Father Ted, is appearing at Murphy's Laughter Lounge in Dublin, from tonight until Saturday.