Critics loathe it, millions love it

Rock critics hate it, grannies love it, Louis Walsh wants to be put in charge of it, and Johnny Logan won't hear a word against it.

At least 100 million Europeans, however, will watch the Eurovision Song Contest live from Copenhagen tonight, and witness a variety of singers performing some of the naffest songs ever committed to music manuscript.

The contest stirs mixed feelings in many minds - the most obvious being nausea - but for Eurovisionaries everywhere, tonight's show is still the ultimate in TV entertainment.

For many of the hopefuls who enter their tunes in Eurovision, it's like pop music has never evolved: the songs on offer rarely reflect current trends, but often mimic musical styles which have become hopelessly outmoded.

Thus, you get syrupy ballads which sound like Glenn Medeiros, cheesy disco which evokes the spirit of Boney M, and rock songs which make Status Quo sound like Radiohead. Even the look is obsolete, although some of this year's entrants have tried to update their image.

Yes, Eurovision is terminally uncool, but we still watch it every year, and newspapers like this print articles like this one, questioning the continuing appeal of this glorified Tops Of The Town contest.

Nobody cares. Eurovision just rolls on regardless, a barometer of bad taste which always reads sunny. For this year's host, Denmark, Eurovision is a serious chance to promote the country and its capital, Copenhagen.

Former Eurovision winners have seized the opportunity offered by the Eurovision hype to plug their own product. A reception was attended by triple Eurovision winner, Johnny Logan. His new album, Reach For Me, has gone gold in Denmark, and a roomful of enthusiastic Danes - young and old - sang along to Hold Me Now, even calling Logan back onstage to perform the song a second time. Logan is luckier than many former winners of Eurovision. He's still a star in places like Denmark.

But there are irreparable tears in the glittery curtain which separates Eurovision from reality. Dissenting voices in showbiz are saying that the contest is an anachronism, and has no place in the bright pop world of 2001.

Last week Louis Walsh, manager of Westlife, Boyzone and Samantha Mumba, criticised the Irish entry as mediocre, and said that if he was put in charge of Eurosong, Ireland's national song contest, then he could make Ireland the winner again. This year's Eurosong was won by Artane man Gary O'Shaughnessy, singing a tune called Without Your Love.

O'Shaughnessy is unlikely to win this year's contest, and most pundits are betting on Sweden with a song called Listen To Your Heartbeat. But I wouldn't dismiss the sales rep from Artane just yet.