Great airline circus show must go on

Business Opinion:  The following press release arrived on the desk of Business Opinion late on Friday night.

It is with great regret that the promoters of the The Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus have to announce the cancellation of this summer's show.

A number of factors have led to this decision, including a review of developments in the German circus market. In particular the promoters have noted the heavy discounting needed to ensure a full house at the recent debut performance of the Air Berlin Zirkus. Ticket prices for its debut last week had to be slashed to €12.65 from the original price range of €15-€17.50 in order to ensure all the tickets were sold for the opening night.

"We just could not guarantee getting in the crowds we needed," said Martino Cullen, the ringmaster of the Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus "and hence we have decided to postpone the show until the Autumn."

"While there are a number of significant differences between our show and the Air Berlin Zirkus, the promoters felt it was prudent to postpone nonetheless," he said.

"We were concerned that many people might think that we are the same sort of circus as Air Berlin giving out a mix of expensive and cheap acts, as well as our extensive offering of candyfloss and fizzy drinks during the show. While we may have given the impression this was the case when it looked like things were going well for the Air Berlin Zirkus, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth," he said.

Martino said Air Berlin made the mistake of pricing tickets for its debut show close to those of the incredibly popular Mick O'Leary's Ryanair Revue and people just did not want to pay those prices for what they perceived to be a traditional circus, he said. "When we return in the Autumn we will offer a show in line with other established national circuses such as the British Airways Big Top," promised Martino.

"We are hoping that come the Autumn, circus goers will have forgotten about the Air Berlin Zircus focus on how well our line-up compares to that of other national circuses," he said. He pointed out that unlike the Air Berlin Zirkus which has been losing money for the last couple of years, the Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus was profitable.

Martino promised that a number of acts pencilled in for this summer's show remained committed to the Autumn dates. These include the juggling star, Mannion the Magnificent, recently arrived from the Middle East.

"Circus goers can look forward to seeing Mannion the Magnificent perform his legendary feat of keeping vested interests in the air this Autumn," said Martino.

Mannion the Magnificent said: "I remain fully committed to the Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus and have no regrets about leaving the wildly successful Gulf Air Bazaar to join this show. People who suggest I was sold a pup are obviously not real circus goers". The promoters also noted the a number of other issues which contributed to the decision to postpone the show until the autumn.

The issue of the circus performers pensions remains unresolved, said Martino. "We have not yet reached agreement on the amount of the box office that will be used to shore up the performers' pensions, or even a mechanism that will allow the performers and their families access to tickets at a discount," he said. "There was no way of being sure the knife throwers, fire eaters, clowns and acrobats would show up for opening night," said Martino.

The promoters also wish to point out that there is no guarantee that the show will go on in the autumn. The current record price of elephant nuts could have a material impact on the finances of the circus they warned. "We have hedged a certain amount of our exposure to the price of elephant nuts, but should prices remain at current levels we cannot guarantee that we will be able to put together an attractive line-up in the autumn," said Martino.

"However, I would like to take this opportunity to address the suggestion that some of the promoters are not fully on board. There is no iota of truth in the rumour that the great promotor in chief and legendary acrobat, Bertie Ahern, only allowed us to put the Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus together in the first place because he knew the rising price of elephant nuts meant it was doomed to failure," said Martino. "I know this because he told me so," he said.

"The show must go on."

The promoters of the Great Aer Lingus Flying Circus accept no responsibility for the information contained in this announcement. To the best of their knowledge and belief (having taken all reasonable care to ensure that such is the case), the information contained in this announcement for which they take no responsibility is entirely a work of imagination, but is quite probably in accordance with the facts and probably omits things likely to affect the import of such information.