Another Eircom family reunion

The Eircom Saga bears all the signs of a long-running soap opera. Events grind on. The personalities seldom change. And all is predictable, so there's no surprise that the share price is in the doldrums.

As in most good soap operas, the Eircom brood comes together once in a while to take stock. Yesterday's episode concerned the disposal of certain items of family silver and 770 distant cousins came from near and far for the meeting. Good as the family is, it hired a fleet of buses to shuttle them to the Point Theatre from Dublin city centre.

Shareholders have proved boisterous in the past so - while some primed questions for the dear leader, Uncle Ray - there was an air of expectation in advance of the gathering. Many arrived thirsty after their travels - "where do you get the cup of tea?" asked one. Others brought fruit for sustenance, but suffered ignominy when it was confiscated by the friendly security people at the door. Uncle Ray is an all-round good guy. His long experience is in another well-known saga - Fianna Fail - and he knows exactly how to handle the quarrels at Eircom.

His statement yesterday was read with all the polish and sincerity of a newly-appointed Parish Priest.

The family firm wasn't doing so badly after all, he said. Eircom would divorce its mobile phone company, Eircell, whose remarriage to Vodafone already organised.

Nifty plotting, yet many were not convinced by the matchmaking.

But in the end the deal was done - and everyone was urged to tune in next time. "Thank you very much for your patience and your kindness and your comments," Ray said. "We'll see you at the a.g.m."