On The Record »

• 10 things to look forward to before Euro 2012

  November 16, 2011 @ 9:16 am | by Jim Carroll

  (1) Huge upsurge in plastic hammer sales. There’s going to be mad overtime going in the Yiwu Tuozhan Plastics Toys factory over the next few months.

  (2) The Robbie-Keane-is-not-a-bad-lad movement finally goes into overdrive. Surely the lad has done enough at this stage to merit less of the slagging? Or does his propensity to stand in the wrong place on the pitch at the wrong time wildly waving his hands in the air like a member of the Wu-Tang Clan still count against him?

  (3) Jedward and other idiots making a concerted effort to get their paws on the official Irish Euro 2012 anthem. Wrong on every possible level. Can we just redo “Put ‘Em Under Pressure” in Polish and be done with it?

  (4) Marketing and advertising guys muscle in on the action. This has always happened with every major sporting occasion, but one can only wince in anticipation about what’s ahead for next summer as brands and stores attempt to flog stuff we probably don’t need using social media, viral ads and other channels the modern Don Drapers believe rule OK. The marketing meetings are probably already underway this morning.

  (5) Stephen Ireland’s pronouncement on what’s going to happen. You know it’s coming.

  (6) Live music promoters humming and hawing about what the hell they should do with acts they have on hold for dates which will coincide with the Irish games. Those Red Hot Chili Peppers’ fans who’ve already bought their tickets for the show Croker can rest easy – no games on June 26. You can also expect furrowed brows on the GAA front too, though reducing ticket prices might be an idea here.

  (7) The country’s pub owners rubbing their hands with glee at the gargle to be sold when the matches are on. Cocktail sausage sales also to increase.

  (8) Huffing and puffing about the RTE pundits. At their best, there is no-one like John Giles, Eamon Dunphy and Liam Brady and convivial ringmaster Bill O’Herlihy (a quick flick over to the Beeb will have you screaming for RTE’s wise men), but there are times when they’re caught out at the back. The addition of Graeme Souness and Dietmar Hamann have worked really well in the past so it will be interesting to know who else gets a call for a summer 2012 gig.

  (9) Roy Keane’s pronouncement on what’s going to happen in Poland and the Ukraine. See 5 above. It’s a Cork thing.

  (10) At least 3,157 more lists like this one.

• The pains of being pure at heart

  November 19, 2009 @ 5:55 am | by Jim Carroll

  

• You will never look at Johnny Giles in the same way again

  January 28, 2009 @ 9:58 am | by Jim Carroll

  A nod and a wink to The Walkinstown Roundabout Chancer for this link to the trailer for The Damned United. Opens in cinemas on March 27, which gives you plenty of time to read David Peace’s truly wonderful book on which this flick about the one and only Brian Clough is based. If you still have a book voucher hanging around the house from the Christmas and haven’t read the book yet, what are you waiting for?

  

• Roy Keane slings his hook. Triggs prepares for the mother of all walks

  December 4, 2008 @ 12:18 pm | by Jim Carroll

  After two and a bit years on Wearside and having spent £80 million on players (and El Hadji Diouf), Roy Keane has said see-ya to the Black Cats. Wonder what effect this will have on Sunderland’s newly discovered Irish fan-base?

• This week’s to-do list, thrillseekers

  June 23, 2008 @ 10:20 am | by Jim Carroll

  (1) Have a listen to The Spook of the Thirteenth Lock

  The Spook passed the power-of-three test a few weeks ago. The power-of-three is when you get three different people recommending a band or a movie or an album to you. The Spook of the Thirteenth Lock’s new album is easily one of the finest out-there-and-in-here Irish releases of the year. You’ll hear Horslips and krautrock, spooky folk and David Axelrod, sean-nos and Fairport Convention when the Spook start to play. They play Whelan’s in Dublin on July 5 if you want to see it all happen right before your eyes. Until then, get the album.

  (2) Go see Persepolis

  It’s still showing on the big screen in Dublin and it’s out on DVD round about now too. Life-affirming, moving, uplifting, funny and fierce

  

  (3) If you’re in Dublin, go see a flick (particularly Persepolis which is running there for one more week) at the Light House cinema

  It’s like you’ve left the dirty old town behind and gone somewhere else entirely. Outside, it might be Smithfield with street urchins eyeing up your bike for size. Inside, it’s a completely different planet. I used to really like the old Light House when it was lodging on Middle Abbey Street, but the new incarnation is light years ahead of it in terms of layout, size, design and atmosphere. It also shows up the IFI for the dumpy, shoddy, unloved and unfriendly joint it has become in the last couple of years.

  (4) Check out the Darklight festival. Lots of light this week.

  Look, I don’t have a clue what it is about either, right? It just seems to have, you know, lots of stuff going on. Lots of chin-stroking, beard-pulling, head-scratching stuff. What does it all mean? No, still don’t have a clue. Maybe it’s like the new series of Anonymous or something.

  (5) Go see some hip-hop this week

  Jigga plays Live at the Marquee, Cork on Wednesday and RDS, Dublin on Thursday before heading off to entertain the unwashed hordes at Glastonbury, while the Cool Kids play at Crawdaddy, Dublin on Friday night. We heart the Cool Kids

  

  (6) Put a few euro on a Russia-Turkey final in Euro 2008

  Yeah, I got hooked. Had to happen. The way Russia bossed Holland on Saturday was class and, while it was good to see Spain trumping an overwhelmingly negative Italian side last night, I really can’t see them coming out on top next week. Turkey to beat Germany too. Top-drawer analysis as always – “it’s going to be a long night, Bill, I hope you don’t have a date planned” – although the Apres Match sketches have been very so-so this time out.

  Now for some open-source blogging. Feel free to add your own recommendations for the week ahead in the comments below. Everything bar stupid viral ads from gobshite marketing departments, aiight?

• No jokes about roasts please

  February 5, 2008 @ 6:39 pm | by Jim Carroll

  Tip o’ the hat to The Fan for the heads-up on this beaut. We’ll be bringing you Brazil eating their bacon and cabbage tomorrow. Promise.

  

• Marseille 0 – Liverpool 4

  December 12, 2007 @ 8:30 am | by Jim Carroll

  Is there any need to say anything more this morning? This sums it up nicely. Moscow in May? Sounds good to me.

  Oh and I hope some of you had the sense to put a few quid on Feelgood Yo Yo last night.

• Long running Situationalist prank comes to an end

  October 24, 2007 @ 7:49 am | by Jim Carroll

  While you were sleeping, Stan got the bullet. Guess they’ll be updating this sometime today.

  

• It seems that Stan took Eamo’s advice

  September 13, 2007 @ 12:10 pm | by Jim Carroll

  By the looks of this, he was quick off the mark this morning.

• Sunderland’s WAG-free zone

  August 15, 2007 @ 10:50 am | by Jim Carroll

  Who knew that Roy Keane had so much in common with Albert Reynolds? One of the former Taoiseach’s more embarrasing gaffes came during a Dail exchange many years ago when, replying to heckles from Fine Gael’s Nora Owens, he retorted “there’s women for you now”.

  Keane’s comments on why players aren’t interested in coming to Sunderland to ply their trade will probably be viewed in a similar light. They’re certainly as good as his prawn sandwiches outburst from a few years ago.

  “If a player doesn’t want to come to Sunderland then all well and good,” said the former Manchester United captain and Ireland midfielder. “But if he decides he doesn’t want to come because his wife wants to go shopping in London, then it’s a sad state of affairs. It’s not a football move, it’s a lifestyle move. It tells me the player is weak and his wife runs his life.

  “The idea of women running the show concerns me and worries me, but the players we’re talking about are soft. Priorities have changed in footballers and they are being dictated to by their wives.”

  It gets better (or worse, depending on how you view these things)

  “I could name three or four big players now, and clearly their wives are running their lives,” he claimed. “They’ve started doing photoshoots – and they’re getting dragged in by their partners.

  “You can see quite clearly now with one or two of the big players that their wives and girlfriends are running their lives and that’s a bad sign. I might have to start persuading players that Sunderland’s closer to London than it really is. The player won’t say it but you know what they’re thinking because they say: ‘I need to speak to my wife’. “

  Keane himself once nearly ended up playing in Italy. Not for the shopping, mind.

  “A couple of years ago I nearly went to Juve. People spoke to me about Turin, and said it is this and it is that, but Milan would be nice. I said ‘I’m not going for the bloody shops; I’m going because it’s Juventus.’ You have to sign for footballing reasons. If you retire at 35 you can bloody well live wherever you want to then.

  “Your football has to be your priority and you don’t have to live in London or Monaco to be happy. You don’t need to be surrounded by expensive shops or fancy cafes.”

  You have to wonder what his chairman makes of all this. And the season isn’t even a week old yet.