This year’s contestants on the new Channel 4 series of the ‘Great British Bake Off’: Back row: Steven, Tom, Liam, Sophie, Peter, James, Chris. Front row: Julia, Kate, Stacey, Flo, Yan. Photograph: Channel 4

“What’s wrong with Mel and Sue?” I wonder as that very duo careen into view, riding a striped hot air balloon (the manner, to be fair, in which I alwa(...)