SUMMER 1995, Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA a carbuncle on the face of the US east coast, a den of tee shirt hustlers, fudge packers and bars with all the appeal of garlic flavoured sweeties.
Your correspondent has washed up in this city that never washes due to a miscalculation, an error of judgment he thought it might be nice, but it wasn't.
His only consolation is that he is on holiday, he doesn't have to work and he believes himself to be far away from students, from Irish students and their cares.
And so he settles down to enjoy his first and last breakfast in Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA, the New York Times spread before him on the diner table like, well, like something big and inky and not very interesting. Then he hears it and his peace is shattered.
"Jayz, boy, have you got dem eggs ready yet?"
It is the voice of someone who has never been further west than Ballybunion before now, an unmistakably Irish voice, and it is answered by a further chorus of Irish voices demanding to know what eggs he's on about and telling him precisely what he can do with his eggs if he's lucky enough to get them.
Your correspondent feels the way Saint Brendan would have felt if, after all those months spent toiling to get across the Atlantic, he arrived in the New World to find the Kerry football team waiting for him on the beach.
Students on the J1 work and travel programme to the US end up in the strangest of places.
According to the survey of last year's 6,200 J1 students by USIT, which operates the programme in this country, some students may even have ended up in Alaska, though the survey doesn't make it clear whether they actually set out for Alaska or merely ended up there after falling asleep on the bus to Seattle.
Applications for the 1996 J1 programme will be accepted on a first come, first served basis from next Tuesday, February 6th.
The programme is open to full time third level students aged 18 and over who have not already participated in previous years details and application forms are available from USIT offices.
USIT also offers lists of employers and will be holding information road shows around the country for prospective J1 applicants, so keep an eye out for newspaper advertisements and notices around college.
While travelling to the US for the summer is one of the most memorable experiences of their college years for many students, a certain amount of preparation is required. When all the costs of participation, flights, insurance and basic survival funds are added together, students heading to the US will need to have amassed between £850 and £1,150.
£850 may seem like a lot of money. In fact, it is a lot of money, but if it's any consolation most students clear their initial outlay and manage to travel a little in the US and manage to bring some money home to help them through the next college year.
Last year over 50 per cent of students earned in excess of $3,000, and half of those in occupations for which tipping was expected (almost 60 per cent) earned $ 100 to $ 300 per week in tips.
Most found jobs on a walk in basis, but it never hurts to plan ahead.
RENT REMAINS the single biggest expense. Around one third of last year's participants paid between $ 100 and $200 per month in rent, while a further one third paid between $200 and $300. Twelve per cent paid less than $100 so they were either living with relatives, living with 20 other people or living with rats.
According to the survey, the deposits required seem to be creeping up slowly. Some 50 per cent of participants still only paid up to $100 last year, but the numbers paying deposits of up to $200 and $300 increased noticeably, 50 be prepared.
Finally, the message which USIT has been trying to pass on to students for a number of years appears to be slowly getting through don't concentrate solely on the old favourites in the north east, especially not if planning to go there on holidays. Americans holiday in all sorts of strange places, places where Irish people are still comparative novelties, which means your popularity and employability should increase.
While New York State, New Jersey, Connecticut and Boston continue to attract substantial numbers of students, nearly 10 per cent of last year's participants journeyed further south to Maryland, Philadelphia and, yes, Virginia.
Others ended up in the mid west and north west, though the race knowledge passed on by generations of J1 students means that the west coast remains comparatively unexplored, despite direct flights to San Francisco.
I, for one, will be going somewhere else this year, somewhere far away from US resorts. I was considering Alaska for a time, but I can already hear a voice asking if I want "toasht" with my coffee and if I know the score of the minor match
