Some will not regard this as breaking news, given it comes from this month in 1660, but it is worth revisiting how Samuel Pepys recorded citizen disenchantment in London then. When disgruntled, rather than use the common expression “kiss my arse”, locals had replaced it, Pepys revealed, with “kiss my Parliament”.
The governing class are rarely as popular with the governed as they think they are.
In the jest and joust of this small act of ancient mockery, a connection flowed forward a mere 3½ centuries, to 2010 at the World Cup in South Africa. Government corruption was sufficiently prominent for it to have its own moniker, “tenderpreneur” – someone benefiting from government contracts while seemingly operating independently in a commercial environment. One politician, Jimmy Mohlala, who exposed dubious practice in the awarding of contracts for the construction of the Mbombela Stadium in Nelspruit, was murdered in 2009. The case is yet to be solved.
In Johannesburg, as well as Nelspruit, scepticism over the financing of the tournament, and displeasure at a poor country being handed instructions from opulent Fifa functionaries, manifested itself in stickers on walls and lamp-posts. They read: “Fick Fufa”.
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They made you smile, these small rebellions.
But not for long. Their presence temporarily reassured those sympathetic and, optimists hoped, kept the targets on their toes, though that was only if the latter could see them from their blacked-out windows.
There was no guarantee of that, nor that those in control would listen to a football figure, even one as informed and intelligent as the great Brazilian Socrates, and think again about their behaviour. Socrates was a Fick Fufa kind of man – one day during the tournament he took a child’s seat at primary school in Soweto and said: “Fifa? Fifa is money.”
Socrates is exactly the sort of football figure who should have been, or should be, running the game. Then we would be able to believe in slogans about football being for all.
Sadly, 18 months after South Africa, Socrates died, aged 57. Football lost a voice of critical significance. He was already concerned about the 2014 World Cup in Brazil and, as he said, about the cash-soaked Fifa presided over by Sepp Blatter.
One year on from Brazil 2014 Blatter was gone. Most thought it was for the better, that a clean-up was in motion. Then, in this week in 2016, Gianni Infantino was elected as Blatter’s Fifa successor. Now look where the global game is.
This week’s bloody events in Mexico brought anxiety from Fifa regarding certain cities’ ability to host matches at the World Cup. Infantino then told the Miami Herald he was confident Mexico could play its part in the expanded three-country tournament.
[ ‘Mexico is losing everything’: Expats in Ireland react to violence at homeOpens in new window ]
Infantino, of course, would not dare mention, or even take note of concern about the recent policies of Donald Trump’s administration. It is so out of kilter with our understanding of democracy that a distinguished German club such as Werder Bremen has cancelled its planned summer tour to the US. Werder had been due to visit Minnesota but after Trump’s Ice mob shot dead two protesters, Renee Good and Alex Pretti, the club said “playing in a city where there is unrest and people have been shot does not fit with our values”.
Imagine Infantino making a similar statement of principle.
That would entail bravery rather than sycophancy, and this is the man who, in December, handed the scurrilous Trump – about to attack Venezuela – the inaugural “Fifa Peace Prize”.
It was not Infantino’s to give, just as awarding the World Cup to Russia, Qatar and Saudi Arabia was not football’s choice but Fifa’s, just as draping the people’s game – unironic, that term was once – in a bisht around Lionel Messi’s shoulders in Doha, while celebrity salt was sprinkled, was not Fifa’s right. But they have lassoed enough of the decision-makers to their Fifa trademark to do what they want. They have let us know it’s their game, not ours.
So here we are. This week also marked the fourth anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Infantino spent the build-up to it lamenting Russia’s sporting banishment. He said it has “not achieved anything”.
Well, it has annoyed Vladimir Putin. That’s something.
Someone around Infantino might also remind him of MH17. That was the flight number of the aircraft shot down above Ukraine by Putin’s Russia in 2014, long before the “official” special operation began. There were 283 passengers and 15 crew members murdered by a Buk missile. Two of the passengers were Newcastle United supporters, John Alder and Liam Sweeney. They were travelling halfway around the world to watch their team play football.
Infantino could be interested in this, in fan dedication, but he’s not. He could observe what happened to Boris Nemtsov or Alexei Navalny, but he won’t. He could listen to Pussy Riot, but he hasn’t.
Instead Infantino has been doffing his Maga-red USA cap towards Trump and his grasping acolytes. Authoritarians need facilitators, as well as their non-disclosure agreements.
Infantino has enablers, too. Who in football stands up to this tedious blazer? Ifab, the International Football Association Board, meet again this weekend in Cardiff and who there will say that football would be better without this preening admin-man who had his name inscribed not once, but twice on his Club World Cup trophy? The Irish FA? The English FA? The great disappointment, Arsène Wenger?
Apparently Ifab will spend time debating Wenger’s new offside proposal, when they could be discussing restructuring Fifa, Infantino’s circus and worldviews centred on personal enrichment.
But who will point out that while Infantino supports Vinicius Junior and makes earnest statements, the US president he fawns over uses his social media to portray Barack and Michelle Obama as apes? Is it not possible for them to see the climate created by Trump and others results in Vinicius, Wolves’s Tolu Arokodare and Sunderland’s Romaine Mundle receiving vicious racist abuse?
No, they don’t want to join the dots, they will shrug at Werder Bremen’s decision.
If anything does disturb their focus, it will be news of slow ticket sales or sponsorship problems. Then they might look at their head boy, a giggling 55-year-old.
It leads back to Fick Fufa, Jimmy Mohlala and pogue mahone. Kiss my Parliament.
It leads back to Socrates.
There is now an award in his name on Ballon d’Or night. Three years ago the player given it for investing in underprivileged schools in Brazil, for taking a stand against racism, was ... Vinicius Junior. They were talking about injustice and poverty amid the glitz of Paris. Pepys might call it satire.
