It was five years ago that Barcelona launched a range of merchandise in honour of their former player and manager Johan Cruyff, naming it “Gallina de piel” after “one of the iconic expressions” associated with him.
“Piel de gallina (literally ‘chicken skin’) is the Spanish equivalent of ‘goosebumps’,” they explained. “But the Dutchman once famously got his words mixed up and said ‘gallina de piel’ (nonsensically meaning ‘skin chicken’).”
Fast forward to September 2024. Steve Archibald, another Barça old boy, tweeted about his first goal for the club, in a 3-0 win away to Real Madrid, a whole 40 years ago. “Chicken skin,” replied a man called Carles Torras. “W**ker and blocked, life is too short mate, jog on,” Archibald responded.
At which point a Xavier Bermúdez kindly intervened. “Sir, I think he [Carles] made a literal (and bad) translation of piel de gallina”. Goosebumps would be a proper translation.” “It could be,” said Archibald, “but I can’t second guess him”. Last we checked, Carles, a Barça fan who had goosebumps at the memory of that Archibald goal and attempted to let him know in English, is still blocked. Hopelessly lost in translation. Cruyff would be proud.
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Who tests the testers?
Reddest cheeks of the week? They would have belonged to Norway’s anti-doping agency, who handed a list to the their FA containing the names of members of the national squad who had been chosen for testing.
That list included Erling Haaland and Oscar Bobb, the latter not even on international duty because he’s back in Manchester nursing a fractured leg. Two more of the names were Einar Gundersen and Jorgen Juve, who were unlikely to be available for testing either – Gundersen died in 1962 and Juve in 1983.
“We had to call Anti-Doping Norway and ask, ‘Is there a hidden camera?’,” said manager Stale Solbakken. “Gundersen and Juve were called. It was a bit late. Negative tests for both of them.”
Word of Mouth
“Portugal winning the Euros is the equivalent of winning the World Cup, so I’m not motivated by that.” – Cristiano Ronaldo. As more than a few replied, ‘Lionel Messi is still living rent-free in his head’.
“What a day for bumping into unpalatable people. I just saw Jamie Redknapp. Happily I needed a No 2 which was much more pleasant than stopping to talk.” – Truly, Richard Keys is a strange man.
“I don’t even want to play for this manager any more. I can assure him that the competition in Saudi Arabia is better than the one in the Netherlands.” – Steven Bergwijn after his Dutch manager Ronald Koeman said his international career was over due to his move to Saudi Arabia. The Dutch league, you’d imagine, is feeling a bit offended.
Alan Shearer stays silent during sing-song
Sunderland fans who spent the bulk of their train journey home, after their recent win away to Portsmouth, singing “cheer up Alan Shearer, oh what can it mean, to be a sad Geordie b*****d, with a sh*t football team” were, it seems, unaware of the identity one of the passengers who shared their carriage. “I’ve got my cap on and I’m wedged in the corner, I can’t even lift my head up, I’m scared ... I was absolutely desperate for the loo, but I couldn’t move for four hours ... and they just sang and abused me for four hours.” Yes, Alan Shearer.
In words
“They’ve signed any player with a pulse.” – How impressed is Andy Cole with Chelsea’s transfer activity? Not a lot.
Stats all folks
23.6 – The percentage of possession Ireland, eh, enjoyed in Saturday’s game against England. That’s an awful lot of ball-watching.
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