"In the old days, the English used to come to Italy and make fools of themselves - now we come to England to teach you how to play football."

- Italian Jockey Frankie Dettori ends his hopes of gaining a British passport.

"Juventus had someone watching the game. I don't know if they were watching Pierre (Van Hooijdonk) or not."

Nottingham Forest manager Dave Bassett on reports that the Turin giants had a representative at the City Ground for Monday's game against Derby. (No offence Dave, but they were hardly watching Dougie Freedman).

"When it comes to Pierre's previous comments and the way his team-mates regard him, well, he should remember that elephants never forget."

Forest goalkeeper Dave Beasant refuses to forgive Van Hooijdonk for his past crimes. What elephants' memories have to do with it, we're not quite sure.

"Mike Milligan's on the transfer list - the club will circulate his name to every club in the Nationwide and Premier League. Does that mean that we will actually inform Man Utd that Mike is available? You have to smile."

`SG', on the Norwich City Supporters' Internet Message Board.