The Oceania Qualifying Tournament for the 1999 Women's World Cup got under way in Auckland, New Zealand last week, with six nations competing for one ticket to the United States next June. Australia, nicknamed The Matildas (honest), opened the tournament with a 21-0 win over American Samoa, much to the amusement of Western Samoa, who were playing New Zealand in the second game. The result? New Zealand 21, Western Samoa 0. No kiddin'.

In an all too rare example of honesty in the footballing profession Jan de Visser, the Dutch player Aberdeen are trying to sign, explained last week why he is interested in moving to Scotland. "I know Aberdeen are not the best club in Scotland and that Scottish football has a very poor reputation at the moment, but it is possible for me to make money there." Good man Jan.

Leaving Scottish football, though, is Craig Moore, who joined Crystal Palace from Rangers last week. "Glasgow Rangers was a great stepping stone, but this is a very positive step," he said, of his move to the first division strugglers. That'll make him popular, down Ibrox way.

Meanwhile John Hartson (he who kicks heads and flower baskets) was in fighting mood (again) last week after he revealed that he is having laser treatment to stop him from going bald. "I don't care what the fans might think about this," the temperamental one insisted, "it can't be any worse than the stick I already get for being Welsh."